Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
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Top comments
cassiecassie559 21
I hope you don't have a boyfriend either, anymore.
purebliss_fml 19
tell him he can have sex with "gross fat chicks" any time he likes because he ain't having sex with you anymore.
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Comments (135)
weveallbeenthere 30
some people are just to stupid and alcohol only makes it worse.
pixiebubz 26
*too stupid.
joemud 13
Dump his ass if you haven't already, no need for someone like that in your life.
Wakachulak 22
Fat chick will be happy
LittleBells 17
#18, That's the point. #10 was saying that OP is lucky that she wasn't in her boyfriend's situation where he's hungover, with a "gross fat chick", in bed, and also hung up on his girlfriend if that needed any clearing up
bangrod 5
What did you see in him in the first place? Clearly he's an idiot who has no respect for you. I'd say it was a bet from his mates
silverkaast 9
people who date guys like this often have their own ridiculous set of baggage.
Brandi_Faith 34
Or he could be a fine guy but turns into a complete moron when he's drunk. Not that I would want to date that either.
sjbartholome 14
He feels sorry for her and asks to bang her. I feel sorry for you because your boyfriend is such a loser. So, by his logic, can I bang you?
8313girl 28
I feel bad for the supposed gross fat chick because now she has some drunk horny dumbass on her case
torbey 23
Us Australians are a thoughtful bunch.
jerryj 27
It's kind of a zero-sum game in this situation. While he was being thoughtful to the "gross fat chick", he was being unthoughtful to his now ex-girlfriend.
torbey 23
sarcasm...
vikky538 29
hopw he is your ex now... and how did having sex with fat chick become a "great heart" thing... not sure if he is planning to establish a chairty trust for fat chick sex and fund raising for condoms..
Xatraris 38
Hope you don't have the heart to stay with him.
stargirl_95 24
You're boyfriend is an asshole both for wanting to cheat on you and for thinking that fat women would want to get pity ****** by him. I would certainly hope that they have more self respect than that. FYL OP
buckdharma 38
Your boyfriend definitely has heart, and nerve. If he only had a brain his straw wouldn't be burning.