Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
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Top comments
cassiecassie559 21
I hope you don't have a boyfriend either, anymore.
purebliss_fml 19
tell him he can have sex with "gross fat chicks" any time he likes because he ain't having sex with you anymore.
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Comments (135)
dcb132z 17
At least he ask first
JuggaloSimms1441 16
He's the heartless SOB! SMFH! Dumb ass is what he is if you ask me!
kingcaper817 14
Dump his sorry ass
pressingreset 13
"Sure honey. After all, that is why I sleepbwith you"
awkward_gothlady 32
His attitude is downright disgusting. Calling another human being gross, saying he wants to have sex with her just because he feels sorry for her (which is, IMO, way more insulting and degrading than rejecting her, assuming she even wanted sex with him in the first place), wanting to cheat on his partner and then calling her heartless if she doesn't like the idea....Yuck! I realize he was drunk, but while that might excuse silly behavior like singing along with the radio at the top of his lungs, it doesn't excuse downright bad behavior.
yeongji 31
I'm glad you "do not have a heart" because if you did, a call like that won't be his first time.
heyithinkyourhot 12
Hopefully he didn't have sex with her anyway.
vikky538 29
he is drunk...so can't say...
KeepItTrill 7
He was drunk....idiots.
kaseyyeahh 7
so that should excuse his behaviour? "gee sorry i murdered those people officer, i was drunk!!". I think YOU are the idiot here.
kat12856 4
This is why relationships don't last anymore. Everybody assumes they should break up on the drop of a dime. He was drunk and as long and if this is the worst thing he's done, it's perfectly forgivable. I'm not saying anything about OP, just all these ignorant people claiming she should dump him.
kaseyyeahh 7
how the **** is this not a dumpable offence? he wanted to **** another girl, insulted said girl AND his girlfriend, and hung up on her. this speaks volumes about his character and dedication/level of interest in the relationship. id dump his ass so fast his head would spin. if youd put up with this you need some self respect.
Queenie2014 11
Just love how being drunk excuses everything. And btw, relationships end because one party decides to do something the wreck the relationship ( cheating, abuse, etc.) and if that happens, the other person has every right to leave ! Stop trying to force your morals on other people! People have a right to decide for themselves how to handle their relationships.
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree, I don't understand how people can just excuse their behaviour because they are drunk. "Sorry I punched you last night, I'm an angry drunk", "sorry I slept with someone else, I was drunk", "sorry I was driving while drinking, I was drunk". If you do stupid things while you're drunk, then maybe you shouldn't get drunk in the first place. You are still responsible for everything you do whether you are drunk or sober, and if you can't handle that, don't drink, simple.
shabellah 7
Dump him FAST!