Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
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Top comments
cassiecassie559 21
I hope you don't have a boyfriend either, anymore.
purebliss_fml 19
tell him he can have sex with "gross fat chicks" any time he likes because he ain't having sex with you anymore.
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Comments (135)
Kekslama 5
guys, take it a little more funny. he was drunk and dont take everything too serious and make a Moral discussion out of it.
lmartinez 4
At least he asked
afrahmohasin 8
Atleast he asked..
blackkitteh69 3
Time to break up with this asshole.
lina21 12
Your boyfriend seriously needs a responsible babysitter
clair_brodie 35
At least he had the decency to call to ask.
laughmaster 9
Hungover and waking up next to a fat chicks bad enough, I've been there but to cheat as well, that's pretty uncool
ShariG2010 8
Dump his ass!
davo_ib_local 14
He broke rule #1 when in a relationship. If you are going to cheat, make sure she looks better than your girlfriend. lol
AloysiusWeasley 15
I would've said "go for it!" and hung up on him. Next time he calls, just tell him he made his choice. Anyone who jokes about hurting someone like that is no one you need around, OP.