Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
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Top comments
cassiecassie559 21
I hope you don't have a boyfriend either, anymore.
purebliss_fml 19
tell him he can have sex with "gross fat chicks" any time he likes because he ain't having sex with you anymore.
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Comments (135)
savemeSheehan 8
I hope you did dump his ass. not only for openly admitting that he would cheat but also for just being an all over ass hole who clearly has no respect for women any shape or form
fj19 9
You're so selfish! Haha.
JayD12 3
Damn it OP! Repulsive chicks need loving too.
rockydify 22
This is in Toowoomba, right?
tesslaar 17
Wow I sure hope that your phone conversation was not at all a serious one on his part.
lolfufun 4
Atleast he asked for permission
MadHoney 9
"No worries hun go ahead. Your right you should do it, and make all the other girls happy too and while you do that I'll go find an actual sober boyfriend :)"
dDailydDosage 8
Sorry no one has sex with someone out of pity... Doesn't happen... Girl probably wasn't as ugly or fat as the boyfriend led on... I'd be very upset that my boyfriend even drunkenly thought for a minute is be okay with him screwing another girl.
LigerFan 1
DTJ! Dump That Jerk!
vividpictures 17
Or maybe he can have sex with OP and "gross fat chick" at the same time.