Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML
Today, at work, I had some palpitations, which ultimately caused me to become hot, dizzy, and pass out. I couldn't go home because we were so short staffed, and three different colleagues asked me if I was pregnant. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML
Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
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Top comments
IrishWildMan 3
It would appear that your analysis of not being a shy or nervous person has been proven false.
sharmen 0
I seriously thought it said farted, not fainted haha
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Comments (67)
XxMoonGirlAshomi 0
haha!!! u idot!!!
Ingenious 0
...Says the person who can't spell idiot. :L
sixtimessix 0
lol a women fainted
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
fate? il tell you about fate, I met my wife during paintball, shot her in the neck, we hit it off straight away
theian01 3
That's not family guy... Thats Superbad. You slightly disappoint me.
persianlovaaa691 0
can someone please suck my **** ?
persianlovaaa691 0
omg sorry guys I didn't write that:|
FrenchToast94 0
maybe I would if you weren't 12.. :D
KingDingALing 9
26- Hahahaha. You've become a victim of getting hacked. It's happened to me... :(
TheOtherNewest1 6
Absitively.
ladybuuggy 0
shit, get your act together! hahah
restythestar 0
more like FHL
cars819 0
lmao, it happens to me too much :)
sharmen 0
I seriously thought it said farted, not fainted haha
yourlifesfucked 0
ZOMGMETOO
Draminicaus 0
Zaboomafoo**
Juneyah1017 9
so you fumbled your words, after that whole thing did you attempt to gain a sac during the night. If so did the cop get touchdown in the bed?
DocBastard 40
Juneyah, you have much about puns to learn, grasshopper. Try this: After he left, did you go running back to his arms? Was he a wide receiver of your advances, or did he block your attempts? Here's a quarter so you can buy a clue. When you're done I want my quarter back.
miraggg 1
his wasnt that bad
DocBastard 40
I never said it was bad, did I?
SadinSherman 16
It was confusing though
cole86 0
well were u?
Amgnowai 0
Y-Y-YDI
Sydknee 8
LMFAO. I get it :)
mzeemzima 0
u fail
sloppy3301 3
ur gonna go jjjjjjjj Jail !