Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
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Top comments
Leprecon 3
Dump him. He treats you like crap, so don't waste your time with this asshole.
beer01 0
Agreed! Dont stay around if he treats you like shit. Dump him as well, just like crap.
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Comments (140)
jordanb55 0
first woo... and that sucks
BbYhRtLsS 0
Maybe she should get a boob job and try role playing....besides....drunkin words are sober thoughts
Rocco1990 0
the shallow bitches have arrived!
caper1234 0
I agree with 42... time for some implants. no guy likes crawling over a woman with the chest of a ten year old. spend some money flattie.
jacsamm 0
ooooohh ur like sums FYL
ash92_fml 0
asshole!! hun i hope you kicked him in the balls.
M0rt 0
so your saying have balloons surgically implanted in your chest is better than being who you are?
Shystai 0
haha, drunk
poofiex3 0
dammm ur abs are sexy !!
mfmylifesrsly 30
I want to touch those abs...omg...*gets wet*
Shystai 0
Thanks ladies
x510710 0
shit I'd like to touch em too.
TheCoolGuy3434 0
u r lesbian
love_game911 0
i wanna touch those abs since the moment I saw them!! damn!! how'd u get them?? they're mouthwatering!!! xD
smirfluv92 0
damn I agree!!
Shystai 0
Soccer gives me them :)
girlygirllol8 0
aw and now ur a soccer player((: do a pic of ur face
Shystai 0
People compare my face to Matthew Maconnahay. But I have no face pictures babe. Sorry
Shystai 0
8 comments on my body! Keep them coming, my self esteem just got high
mnssnm 0
nice abssss
killerkurt 0
He prolly found that picture off some Gay **** site. Just my $0.02.
mfmylifesrsly 30
what about a pic of your picker? ;D
Shystai 0
Since that makes sense you idiot. Use your brain that God gave you, not all people stay inside playing xbox and twittering. Go work out loser.
Averizzle 0
Lol if he doesn't have whole body pics then those arent his abs. And I am nor an idiot with a 4.1 or a nerd as I play varsity basketball.
Shystai 0
Maybe my face was ripped off by a gorilla? Idc if you don't think these are mine, because I know they are. And basketball sucks
nickrd100 0
@Averizzle: When trying to claim you are not an idiot is probably best to use correct grammar. You have just failed to prove that you are NEITHER an idiot NOR a nerd.
SoccerPlaya17 0
lmfao. do you not know any guy with abs in person o: ?
jacsamm 0
yea talor lautner
Valter 0
basketball > soccer fake ab fag
caper1234 0
yur a ****** tool. how can u berate someone for stayin in all day when your posts are chokin this place with your twink photo?
caper1234 0
you're a **** mfmylife. want my number?
love_game911 0
I <3 soccer players!!! all the guys that I Have dated where soccer players!!! xD can I touch ur abs??? plz???
love_game911 0
all u guys who day he's a fag or just got a pic of it on the internet r ****** fags!!!! I know plenty of guys who have abs like those!!!! I have seen many of my friends abs to know those r real and his!!! ps soccer gives u more abs then basketball....I know..
momo259 0
sorry, those ain't your abs, Hun! if you had so called sexy abs wouldn't you have shown your face and stopped trying to pick up girls on here?? guys like u really piss me off. oh and to those girls out there who like him, I would go somewhere else and find a real man...
Shystai 0
@105, I guarantee your a twilight fan, 14, and fat, and probably never had a conversation with a man about ANYTHING excrept Pokemon. Pre teens like you piss me off.
momo259 0
well you can SHUT THE **** UP because you are probably a nerd with a Afro, 48 , gay, a child molester and spend your life playing xbox in your moms basement. and you know nothing about me so you can shove it up your fat ass and watch so gay **** for all I give a shit, bitch
momo259 0
you can shit the **** up cuz ur probably a 10 year old, perve, anime loving fat ass who spends his time in his room of model airplanes. and you know nothing about me cuz all of those are wrong so you can shove it up ur ass bitch.
momo259 0
ur a *****
momo259 0
*****
messiferlife19 0
wow dude Ronaldo really? you are a fag
messiferlife19 0
your a fag and every girl who thinks those are his abes google cristiano Ronaldo
WhatANoob 0
Agree with 107
Leprecon 3
Dump him. He treats you like crap, so don't waste your time with this asshole.
UziTopete 0
yea tell all his friends he got a baby dick lol
spiderman0606 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He was DRUNK. You can't hold people responsible for what they say when they're drunk. Give the guy a break. it's the OP's fault she wasn't drunk and not having as much a fun time as he was.
_whoops 0
shouldnt have been sleeping with him...
amberxoxo 0
a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.
PhillyFox 0
WTF? She deserves it for not drinking? Sorry but drunk people can be held responsible for everything they do. That's why you get arrested for drinking and driving.
spiderman0606 0
A drunk guy gets into his car, crashes and kills a pedestrian. Being sober, I highly doubt he'd kill that same pedestrian. Or even want to. (Damn those pedestrains) People make mistakes. Some, they regret for the rest of their lives. OP you should dump your boyfriend if he doesn't apologise for his words and actions. But if he's trying to make it up to you and trying to make things right, you shouldn't be so anal about it. (But maybe if you were more anal, he wouldn't be pissing about your sex life) If he had a clean streak for one whole year, and you want to dump him for one drunk night, then YDI. But of course you know him more than any one of us do.
smirfluv92 0
dat is soo true!! and **** him anyways!!
GiggityGiggityGo_fml 8
Weirdly I agree with 20 and 24, they both make a good point, damn those drunken words, literally one of the worst things in any relationship..
Voltage_fml 0
No...
seabrook 7
kick him in the nuts, say aw..no more for a while anyway b****
beer01 0
Agreed! Dont stay around if he treats you like shit. Dump him as well, just like crap.
Juneee_fml 0
you should have told him he has a little dink ;)
leftylanza 0
yeah, I agree. get rid of that jerk.
love2bu 0
kick him in the nuts and tell him to go to hell.....its as simple as that. oh and do his friend...thats what i did...lol
Metallica139 0
Tell him he has a small weiner
Juneee_fml 0
more like cut his dick off infront of his friends. this shit makes me angry aha
poofiex3 0
fucckk himm!!! go live your lifeeee instead of sitting here upset! expect the unexpecteddd