Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
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Top comments
guy_whos_sad 0
The situation........ *puts on cool glasses" ......at hand. YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Awkwarddd!!
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Comments (104)
allmidnighteyes 11
A handy in the shower of all places? Water is the worst lube.
couteautm 1
not everyone is from the states and cut.
ruby84 1
shower jell? soap? conditioner? you're not very creative lol
Bofferding_fml 6
LOL try soap as a lube, haha So you can come back and write your own fml!
dels13 0
win^
jamsie_fml 17
haha what were u talking to your mam about then??
hardcore1414 0
about how she sorry that she keeps **** blocking and she's sorry xD
extraberry 9
you should have locked the door, but that still sucks.
Laxinitup 18
haha nice, very true.
BlackHoleSuns 0
Since when does locking a door make it sound proof?! The mom did not walk in to the bathroom. Whether the door was locked or not is irrelevant. The mom was talking to him from the other side of the door.
undeadqueen528 0
25 is right and you guys are idiots for not reading the Dam thing right before commenting
TYDIRocks 2
I'm pretty sure if the mom walked in his gf would stop...
wendyyyy 0
25 - what's with all of your lengthy defensive comments? I do hope you have/look into a career in politics .... seems like you love a debate.
Kua_Mei 0
#120: I'm not implying that I do not write the longest, most ridiculous rambles ever, but how, in any realm, is 25's comment lengthy? It's barely more than 2 lines.
AwesomessMaximus 4
Today, I got a handjob. FML. Boo-hoo, suck it up princess, at least you're getting some.
iNekoGamergurl 0
someone's desperate... thats not th point!! you probably read up till "giving me a handjob" and said "what could possibly go wrong with a handjob?"
sp33do 0
exactly.
cguinn17 9
I'm pretty sure the mom was talking through the door, locking it wouldn't have done anything
cguinn17 9
oh sadness! this was supposed to be a reply to #15
ThickHead 0
if your mom knows bout you an gf sexually active just yell out your having sex, if not yell at your busy then she just think your masturbating if those don't work for ya, just say your getting shampoo in your eye an you can't talk right now.
tzb13 1
um, what? I couldn't understand half of that.
misa08 0
ummm theres somethin u should have done mmmmm what is called oh yea LOCK the DOOR duh
circlejerk69 0
what if the door doesn't lock. my bathroom door doesn't have a lock on it.
vettle 6
re-read the fml and try again.
jemama 1
What 67 said.
tona01 16
what if the FML never said anything about the mom walking in ...
hardcore1414 0
ummm there's something you should have done hmmmmmmm I think it's called re-reading the fml and comment dumb........ass
NoOneLovesYou 13
Hey retards. As it turns out, locking the door doesn't make it soundproof. His mother was talking to him from the outside in. So shove your nasty comments up your ass for once, or at least learn to read before you comment. That being said, sorry op. You shouldn't have replied and played it off as though the water made it hard to hear anything. FYL, but seriously, it was avoidable if you were creative.
skorpien 1
Learning to read isn't the problem. It's the sad lack of reading comprehension that is to blame. Seriously, WTF are the nitwits learning at school? This is as basic as reading comprehension gets.
Yournamehere42 7
Unless you sneaked your girlfriend into the house just to shower with you, I'm pretty sure your mom knew the two of you weren't just being totally innocent in there in the shower together. She probably did it on purpose. You should've just gone with it.
petite_amber150 0
totally agree with you 32
rawr9able 4
If that's kinky then you my dear have bad taste. >.>