Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after twelve straight hours of work, my fourteen year old son surprised me with a broken window and a cracked TV. He said, "I was swatting away a fly." FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, while trying to prove how easy it would be for a burglar to break in, my drunk dad threw a brick at my window. Luckily, he missed. It hit the wall and bounced off. Unluckily, it bounced off, landed on my wife’s car, broke the windscreen, slid off, and put a long scratch down the bonnet. FML
Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML
Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
Today, I was mowing my yard when I hit a small rock, which hit my shed. I got done mowing and realized that it wasn't a small rock, it was my son's toy plyers and it wasn't my shed, it was my car window, which had shattered on impact. FML
Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML
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Top comments
pattheaninal 9
wow. your son is dumb.
young_al 4
Sucks for you, make him work and pay for it himself!
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Comments (152)
evan_789 7
first?
Rebi3144 8
Damn you D:
Zmeilerr 22
No one cares. Now go back to your bridge, troll.
Zmeilerr 22
No one cares. Now go back to your bridge, troll.
Themuffinman728 0
Makes perfect sense. I don't see the problem here.
pattheaninal 9
wow. your son is dumb.
Kurtis123 0
What are you talking about, his son is a genius! *sarcasm*
Achead 0
Very
froob 0
Fo'real
persianjr1 7
your kid has a strong throw!! haha. two windows?
Morenna4 0
lol , actually thts pretty smart lol .
theten_fml 9
congratulations! it's an idiot
spearhead 5
86 op lives in Australia football is our soccer not American football
CommonSenseKarma 17
Think it's time for the comparison between stupidity and football, sí?
CalebEatsZombies 2
******* ball has a boomerang in it
ramboman19 8
kids do the darndest things!
young_al 4
Sucks for you, make him work and pay for it himself!
RealChinese 7
your dumb if you didnt make him pay for it or at least not give him allowance or w.e if you do until it adds up to 800$
liindsey 25
You're dumb if you don't know that the dollar sign goes in front of the money amount. And by the way? It's "You're* dumb" not "your dumb" for future reference.
Thanatos1206 0
Yeah get him 19!! Show him what proper grammar looks like!
breenntt 0
First off, some countries in Europe do the currency sign after the number because you don't say "Dollars eight-hundred".
john7h567hgrd 0
Ya but this is America where our grammar makes no ******* sense... so up yours!!
RealChinese 7
my bad i didn't know i was writing an essay for school sorry teach
ForeverAloneGuy 1
Can't you read? He's a real Chinese, he doesn't care about non-mandarin grammar.
andinho 0
his allowance would need to be pretty big to pay it off
lmfao_shame 9
LOL GOOD ONE
spearhead 5
hi 122 :)
PushMyButtons 5
crap it was 101 still. I love it.
always_smile_fml 3
you're sad
ligerzz 0
19, it's "And by the way,", not a question mark tyvm.
TYDIRocks 2
If it was an allowance wouldn't it still be coming out of OP's pocket? lol
stun23 8
:((( dang
demetrius19 7
u need to beat the hell out of him because thats the stupidest hing i ever heard.
newfiegirl 8
someone needs to beat the hell outta you, for even saying they should beat the kid.. you have issues.
ScuseMePrincess 2
There's nothing wrong with beating a bad kid. Obviously, you shouldn't strike a child with a clenched fist, but spanking never hurt anybody.
Zomg_Okay 27
Except the people getting spanked.
o76923 8
and all the people the spanked kid eventually beats up because they are taught violence is an appropriate response to anger.
newfiegirl 8
spanking and beating are two different things.. 10 clearly said "beat the hell" out of hiim.. obviously abuse.
iluffmcrandbvb 1
oh yeah spanking never hurt anybody except for the person that got spanked. ppl who abuse kids are horrible, vile people.
Grimmerie 31
i was spanked as a kid. as a result, i know if i **** around i'll be punished. i have never, would never, and will never wilfully cause harm to befall another human being or animal. spanking =/= child abuse.
Dragons_corner 6
I was spanked and I don't go beating people up. I plan on spanking mine too. also 96 I believe 56 might be right. I say to my parents and they say it to "I would gave beat the shut out of you" and they and me mean spank.
cptmorgan15 2
This is why I dislike freedom of speech. Everything on FML turns into a huge, neverending internet argument. Stop stating your opinions people, nobody cares.
whybother8 0
tell yur son to get a J.O.B ASAP!
EvilSpirt 5
Tell the school it WAS a bird.
pattheaninal 9
or a plane? or SUPERMAN?
CryMoreFMLs 15
No. Just a bird, sorry to get your hopes up.
UTTU 0
You have to pay $800 to fix it; your son has to earn $800 to pay you back.
nbk1405 0
Well done! You have successfully summarized the FML and posts thereafter...