Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he can't remember the last time he took a shower. He then told me he doesn't see the "need" of taking showers. FML
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how hard it is to wash long hair. While I was talking, he interrupted and said, "Wait, you actually wash your hair?" FML
Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, my nine year-old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML
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Top comments
rosha267 21
I feel sorry for your mom
WOTAN1488 24
And then you explain to him that it doesn't, especially not his armpits.
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Comments (104)
WOTAN1488 24
And then you explain to him that it doesn't, especially not his armpits.
desoxyn242 14
I wonder what his bed smells like! Yuck!
feelingold 18
No offence but, even if you agree, how is this an FML for OP? Does he routinely have to bury his nose in his step dad's crotch? And how did he even get into this argument in the first place (some debate about scented shower gel OP wants mum to buy perhaps?) He sounds annoying and whiny to me.
igive 29
He could probably smell him just by walking past him.
feelingold 18
Even if you agree with OP, how is this an FML for him? Does he have to bury his face in step-dad's crotch? I'm also wondering how on earth this argument even happened...was it about some shower gel OP uses that the step dad doesn't like the smell of or thinks is too expensive? I find it impossible to believe that they were genuinely arguing about whether you need soap on your privates/pits.
rosha267 21
I feel sorry for your mom
MV3_Heat_Fan 13
The mom chooses to be with him
wildgenius 13
Well she may choose to be with him but so did Percy Jackson's mom.
teentee401 37
Tell your mom that he feels that way, OP
Just_A_Tree 20
Is OP's favorite color blue?
Cass_x 22
#24, your comment made my day, thanks! OP, maybe you're also a demigod.. Off to Camp Half-Blood you go!
MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21
Someone needs a lesson on personal hygiene..
crankawank 19
Actually, depending on the person you don't necessarily need to wash your body to be hygienic; in fact washing your body too much can be harmful in that it strips away your skin's layer of healthy bacteria. I personally don't use any cleansers to wash my skin, and I smell like rainbows and sunshine.
ohSNAPyall 27
You still need to scrub. PS - Does anyone else say you smell like rainbows and sunshine?
EnchantingCurse 0
Actually you need to strip away the top layers of skin. That's all dead skin, and when you don't wash properly, bacteria gives you acne and you get dead skin and grease buildup that can cause skin irritations or worse.
TheCookieComet 23
How does he maintain a job like that?
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
That's IF he even has a job. He probably can't land a job since he most likely doesn't smell too good.
IAmzephyr 22
then I guess his BO is the aroma of cleanliness?
LaColombianita 26
I wonder what he's gonna do when he goes bald....
giantsfan2010 23
Too funny..
NLM22 14
I don't get it
slyde32 12
think about it #56, give it some thought, it'll come eventually, you might LOSE your HAIR trying to figure it out though
macros 12
Time to bring down the axe.
False_Stupidity 42
... You did not seriously just suggest axe, did you?
Cely988 29
Telling him to wash his whole body is better than telling him to cover up his BO with axe.
Flaming_Pandas 15
#18, #25, Axe also makes many soaps and the like in addition to deoderant
Cely988 29
Oh, I didn't know that! I'm a girl, so I can't say that I know a lot about axe xD
VeganVampyre 27
Yeah, they have a whole line of products now. Including body wash. Which my boyfriend unfortunately buys all the time...
sicksadworld1317 30
@41- It doesn't matter that Axe now makes soaps. Some of us are still traumatized from the scent of Axe being mixed with BO in the hallways of high school. Six years later, any Axe product still makes me gag. The entire product line is just a terrible, terrible thing.
19990231 29
If he's that old, he might need to spice up his shower routine.
man_in_black08 28
I guess he really has a 37 year old way of thinking. Remind him that we no longer living in the past!
PenguinBitch 44
That's called "Trickle Down Bathconomics".