Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I was on a crowded el train listening to my iPod touch. As I stepped off the train, my headphones got caught on a man's jacket and my iPod fell on the floor. The doors shut. I then watched the train pull away. With my iPod on it. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, while watching a movie on my iPad, a really cute girl sat next to me. Suddenly, everyone on the bus started clapping. I started to clap very loudly as well, asking the girl why we were clapping. She gave me a strange look. I then realized the applause was coming from my headphones. FML
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I had my earbuds in while walking to work. I was so into a particular song that I didn't notice I was singing out loud despite people being around. A random jogger gave me a thumbs-up and said, "Shit voice, wrong lyrics." FML
Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML
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Top comments
GrooveSponge 0
:D that's so unfortunate...I hope he didn't kick you in the taco.
Doortje 30
At least you enjoyed it for a short while.
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Comments (109)
GrooveSponge 0
:D that's so unfortunate...I hope he didn't kick you in the taco.
FaZeClan 3
I wish I had a taco.
blairjanine 0
I named my chihuahua Taco:)
FaZeClan 3
i named my taco from taco bell taco.
Keyman1212 14
Chihuahua's were originally bred for consumption. Did you eat Taco in a taco?
FaZeClan 3
i don't think she is asian
StoryOfTheYear 15
1- The guy could probably only reach her shins with a kick. Her taco was safe.
Keyman1212 14
Yo dawg!! I heard you love tacos so we named your taco from taco bell taco cause you love tacos so much!
Keyman1212 14
But think of his punching abilities! Her taco is no longer safe :,(
ColdplaySucks 18
YDI for listening to Oopma loompa...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Apperantly #34 listens to diarrhea pouring in a gutter.
rallets 23
#24 Tacoception?
iluvhobos 5
YDI for having the Oompa Loompa song on your iPod.
Chad_the_Brony 0
I'm sick of these motherfucking tacos on this motherfucking comment!
beebananaz88 0
I like burritos.
lebronesque73091 12
So what? This is a pointless fml.
thiscrazything 1
Who would eat a chihuahua ??
thiscrazything 1
Who would eat a chihuahua ??
ShroomsOnAcid 17
59, As a vegan, I'd rather eat one than have to be around one. My love for animals stops dead at Chihuahuas.
GrooveSponge 0
29, who knows, maybe he's a former cheerleader who's really amazing at high kicks?
purpleflurper 0
I was kicked in the taco back in 'nam.
takrushi 4
36, didn't you know that's what ALL the kids are listening to these days!
GrooveSponge 0
130 Nobody's taco was safe in 'nam.
ilyWoods 5
65 - you just made my day! Lmfao!
OctoberRainfall 13
#34 - totally
nabila21 0
Is a taco the best burrito u have ever eaten?
Geddeson 4
I love tacos and burritos and sexy clothes!
Doortje 30
At least you enjoyed it for a short while.
Toowoo 3
No pun intended right? Lol
Eggers 2
At least he wasnt short tempered. Okay, I'll go crawl in a corner now. Sorry.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Who has that song on their ipod?
memob123 0
Apparently she does
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Eh, rocking out i guess. Who am i to judge i have r. kelly on mine so im not any better
aw3som3sauc3 10
Come on people, puns are always intended on fml...
twilightluvr101 4
Lol,i see what ya did there ;-)
Benelli_SkM 0
That moment was short lived.
cjstables 0
Haha short while i get it
danny1023 0
No big deal Everyone makes small mistakes Life is short We shouldnt worry about the little things
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
It's "little person", you inconsiderate jerk! :p
THE_A_TEEN 28
Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Midget Pissed off yet?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
Nope, get thumbed down much? :D
THE_A_TEEN 28
Unfortunately yes, sadly. I'll go to the corner, please shoot me...
AlexanderSilver 0
4- It's just a damn word. Before people became so "politically correct," midget was a perfectly acceptable and widespread word. It could be used medically too, although "dwarf" is more accurate. OP said midget because she is used to using a word from an era where people didn't deem words unacceptable.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
I was only kidding, I don't care about being politically correct.
iamesauce 4
There was a point when "******" was a perfectly acceptable word, too. Doesn't make it right.
toalysium 15
If its not carrying a battle axe it's not a dwarf!
hasaz6969 0
Of course u dont
desireev 18
It's so funny because MIDGETS actually prefer to be called MIDGETS. Calling them a "little person" is like calling them a kid or saying they count as half. With my work, I have to deal with many MIDGETS and other people with disorders of the sort. It greatly pisses them off when they are called a "little person".
Levvy 22
That's interesting, Disireev. I've heard from a number of sources that "little person" is the "polite" phrase, but it always sounded really condescending to me, somehow. I'm not one myself and I don't personally know anyone who is. I don't know what it's like. But just from my separated stance, I feel like I'd personally rather just be "midget" than something that sounds like I'm being called a leprechaun. I've heard at least one or two on TV, however, say they feel the things you're describing about "midget" and not "little person", so it's obvious individual prefs differ. It's hard to be respectful of people even when you really want to, sometimes. Probably best to just ask what they prefer.
Fiskerz 0
Or we can stop being so butt hurt about everything that is said.
lorahayes 4
it got changed after i submitted it! dont blame me haha
jessthebest3 0
I'm a dwarf, and seriously? We aren't all one person. You cant say 'midgets prefer to be called midgets/little people. Because we all prefer different terms. You're the one being ignorant now.
amishfury 9
I would have been all "what? I like this song"
ClassyCommando 13
Well, you're ****** already, OP, so just look him right in the eye and say: "Umadbro?"
aw3som3sauc3 10
Amishfury, that makes me think that you are Amish, which makes me wonder how you can get on fml...
Buttsexpirate 9
Sounds like the beginning of a very strange musical number. Should've started singing and dancing and maybe it would've alleviated their horror.
GeorgiaPoppy 0
Or caused more :s
ClaremoreZebra 8
# 7... I love your name.
flockz 20
did he bite your ankles?
TheMaster15 10
Maybe head-butt her ******?
DKjazz 20
Did he get his head stuck?
HetaliaFreak 10
Could have if she her sister's dog had eaten a hole in the crotch of her pants.
ddssuperstar 0
#129 - that could also explain some of the odd stares she received from onlookers.
_daniellesays_ 10
It's good to know I'm not alone in having Willy Wonka-esque music on my iPod..but yeah, that is just terrible. I think we all feel awkward for you.
baconftw 9
Wow, ive got it on my ipod too! :)
perdix 31
You should have started singing, "We represent the lollipop guild" and then finish off with Randy Newman's "Short People." I mean, you're screwed, you just might as well go all the way.
ryguy7878 8
I don't really like you
perdix 31
Just don't head-butt me in the nuts, tiny bro!
Awsumuzzie 12
15, are you looking for a little web fight? Do you think it'll make you appear more masculine? If you've answered yes, then you're pathetic. If you've answered no, you're still pathetic because then that comment is deemed useless.
Justforlolz 14
Someone with common sense?
ClassyCommando 13
Manly fights, eh? Well, it doesn't get more manly than comparing penis sizes with other men. Although talking shit on the internet comes pretty close.
Dracoboxer357 36
Lmao! 79, 42 ruffles your feathers with her opinions but "The A Teen" is the first guy to drop a big ol "**** you" on the world and you don't even notice him? :D That's interesting. :) ps: I like reading what both of them have to say, one's intelligently opinionated, the other......never ceases to amaze me, lol! :D Cheers!
CallMeBloo 31
Yeeeeaaaah. I almost don't believe that this is a coincidence. Almost.
ICATiger 13
He might have been a small bit offended...
GoW_Chick 15
... or he thinks OP is a wee bit short sighted.
ohmylanta22 5
Haha puns...
StalinsHeir 1
Ya think?
KiddNYC1O 22
That song is creepy.