Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML
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Top comments
wootwootimahoot 10
Hypocrite.
Grand_Cookie 21
Sack up and stop doing it for her. Two can play that game.
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Comments (219)
uniquechic21 12
The problem is not that she thinks it's demeaning or gross to give a BJ. The problem is also not that she enjoys receiving oral without wanting to give it. The problem is that OP is not happy with the arrangement. If she only wants to receive, and OP is happy with only giving, then both parties are happy. As it is though, she is being demanding and manipulative by threatening to withhold sex, and both parties are not happy. They don't need to immediately break up, but they need to talk about it. If her reasoning is that he's getting to ****** through sex so it's only fair she ****** too, OP can say he can accomplish that with his hands unless she's willing to return the favor.
Binglebeee 16
Situations like this are exactly why **** was invented. If you wanna get funky and she won't compromise then simply go fap and leave her heavily unsatisfied. You'll see how long it takes for her to turn
CharresBarkrey 16
Except for the fact that she can probably satisfy herself better than he can. Girls and guys are different that way.
B0nb0N09 12
That's because male and female oral sex is totally different... Putting a penis in your mouth is very uncomfortable Also women ****** clot orally not vaginally so that's probably why she wants you to go down on her before penetrative sex
smurfdoll 8
I agree , it's bleh sometimes
dat_becky 17
OP, you must be a lesbian then since you have no balllzzz!
srt1087 6
Tell her to get with it or get lost
ivanhoe4u 3
Sounds like you're the Beotch! Good luck with that.
JonLee 8
Next time she wants some, kick her out, and when she asks her why on earth you would do such a thing, tell her it's "DEMEANING" and "SICK"!! Srsly though, just talk with her in a friendly way about how hypocritical she is being. Gl op
PuRe_fml 1
Wow.. Really get a new woman dude.. If you treat her like a good guy should.. Then what the hell is wrong with her sucking you off?? Oral is amazing both ways!
luminis12 23
I feel your pain
Beva_fml 15
Refuse to go down her and show her just how funny that can be.