Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML
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Top comments
wootwootimahoot 10
Hypocrite.
Grand_Cookie 21
Sack up and stop doing it for her. Two can play that game.
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Comments (219)
thatsme123 4
Um maybe the only reason she demands oral in the first place is because you can't get her to cum through regular intercourse. Everyone is so quick to call the girl selfish and ignores the possibility that she's just trying to even the playing field.
amifaiyaz 12
She can be by herself then, what a prude.
AlexRen 21
When you guys are having sex and are really into it. Just stick it in her mouth....
Twigz 4
She's selfish and needs to grow the hell up. It's the same thing, and if she sees it as "demeaning", then she has some personal sexist issues she needs to get a grip of.
AKGrace 13
Get out now.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Just quit the munching, chicks would rather stay with someone they are comfortable with than trolling for fresh meat.
graphicstyle7 17
Speaking as a female.. she is very selfish, and totally lacks empathy. You can do much better, move on.
Cristian89 29
Sorry OP, but you are missing out
piercethemarni 4
If there is a specific reason shes not doing it dont even bring it up. (raped) because its not fair to her. make sure you know everything before you get upset with her. if she just doesn't want to do it as you said she thinks its "sick" then she thinks its gross! just stop going down on her. if she told you it upset her before you should have brought it up.
AshAsh014 4
Throw it right back in her face =P