Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, my boyfriend texted me a video of him having sex with a girlfriend he was screwing before we met. He thought it would turn me on; instead I am completely repulsed, and it will probably will haunt me for the remainder of our relationship. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
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Top comments
slkeithh 14
Have you tried maybe..... growing up?
Crowned Sataness 12
Grow up or cut her loose so she can find an mature partner. You've probably gone down on someone before her, she knows this she doesn't care. Anyone who's on partner 2+ has probably gone down on someone else. If you had girlfriends before her, they also probably sucked a dick before you. And you survived. Of course she's gone down on him before. He's had his dick other places too, just like you have. She knows you've had other partners and still goes down on you. Grow up.
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
Now he's gotten into both of your heads! Yours psychologically, but hers literally, y'know with his **** in her mouth. I think you would have gotten it without me reinforcing the image. Sorry you have to dump her and go on a quest to find a girl who has never blown anyone else.
spinningrecords 14
You can’t let that shit get to you because then he wins. If you let him win your relationship will be over and every girlfriend from now on will be cast in the same light.
slkeithh 14
Have you tried maybe..... growing up?
cuz803 46
Don't let that get to you. He's a hater and is jealous that he can't get that from her anymore. Also, try staying away from that prick. He deserves his head to get punched in.
Hangryko 32
Should your girlfriend be concerned about how many vulvas you've licked before kissing her? No? Then either get over yourself, or do her a favour and dump her.
Crowned Sataness 12
Grow up or cut her loose so she can find an mature partner. You've probably gone down on someone before her, she knows this she doesn't care. Anyone who's on partner 2+ has probably gone down on someone else. If you had girlfriends before her, they also probably sucked a dick before you. And you survived. Of course she's gone down on him before. He's had his dick other places too, just like you have. She knows you've had other partners and still goes down on you. Grow up.
Iifa 7
Let's reverse this, what about your mouth in the past? Hell if you think about it most children have eaten poop so there's definitely way worse package to sort through. Get over yourself, it was the last, it seems like you're present for her, don't know how long though. Imagine what have you done in bedroom before meeting her, she probably has similar past..
slhiggx 17
Are you a child? Grow up. F her L for dealing w men like you and him. She has a type that’s for sure
Jon Tessler 14
and you didn't punch his lights out for being disrespectful? yep, you need to grow up as well as finding the testicles that obviously did not drop when you went through puberty
1known 34
She sucked you too no?