Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML
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Top comments
wootwootimahoot 10
Hypocrite.
Grand_Cookie 21
Sack up and stop doing it for her. Two can play that game.
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Comments (219)
EmsyyyRose13 24
Damn... That's kinda messed up.
JustStella 28
I must admit I had that same mentality. But then I grew up.
imtooshy 18
Sometimes in order to beat someone at their game you've gotta play by their rules. Man up, speak up and treat her as you're being treated.
Headcrab 29
Kick her out. Women like that should be avoided.
kernelkat 16
What's good for the gander is good for the goose
TynoMite 3
She's a lesbian. Sorry for your luck, OP.
Cazz91 21
You may want to have a long sit down heart to heart chat about that. If she really is disgusted doing that for you then you shouldn't feel obligated to go down on her if that isn't your cup of tea either.
Psychicgirl17 18
How is pleasuring your man by giving him a ******* demeaning?
vladimirnabokov 15
if she doesn't wanna go down on you she doesn't have to OP. however you shouldn't ever go down on her just because she says you have to. toss the bitch and find someone else who would be happy to be fair and equal in sex with you - there are tons of lovely ladies out there!
zakariah 5
That sucks
kurodansei 16
Does it really? DOES IT!?! I'm getting a definite lack of sucking over here.