Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years-old. I'm 25. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, when a middle-aged guy called me a "two-timing whore", dumped his coffee on me and walked out in tears. I'm 14 and I have no idea who he was. FML
Today, we had customer complaints of a child molester hanging around our restaurant. After confrontation by a manager, he wouldn't leave. I had to be walked to my car after my shift by more than one person because I look 12 and they were afraid for me. I'm almost 19. FML
Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML
Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML
Today, I was in the store when a man started chatting me up. He was good looking and charming. He asked, “So, what are you, 22-23?” I saw him visibly recoil in disgust when I told him my real age. I’m only 35, he was about 50, but he acted like he couldn’t runaway fast enough. FML
Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, trying to get to know the cute new barista. I wanted to compliment his nice eyes, but I got nervous and blurted out, "You have nice elbows!" He stared at me, confused, as I quickly grabbed my coffee and left. Now I can't even imagine going back there. FML
Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
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Top comments
techweed 12
Someone's been reading too much 50 Shades of Gray...
perdix 31
Love your username!
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Comments (132)
techweed 12
Someone's been reading too much 50 Shades of Gray...
xAkonz 10
More like 50 Shades of Holy **** That's Creepy.
perdix 31
#1, Fifty Years of Grey
MissMae93 23
17 - Perdix, I really hope you noticed OP's name ;)
ptoka 20
Perdix is used to hearing/seeing his name. It doesn't phase him anymore lol
Verota 6
*faze
imaginaryvoice 18
Say: "Sorry.. You're a little too young for me."
vballgirly28 16
Maybe he has read the book and she seemed like the girl to make his move on??
AngelSpit 18
#75 not everything is spelled phonetically. . o O (dumbass)
BobbieH 19
75 *idiot
perdix 31
#97, #101, #75 is actually correct. "Phase" and "faze" are homophones, but "faze" is the correct one in this context.
lexi365 20
I didn't realized guys read that.
MerrikBarbarian 9
106- more women than men read it, but my bf and I both read it out of curiosity. We both found it stupid but plan to see the movie anyways. **** pretending it isn't **** is always good for a laugh. There was a study done and the people who liked the book the most, regardless of gender, also had the weakest grammar and writing skills and often lowest levels of education... Interesting as those into real bdsm (trust me 50 shades isn't even close) showed higher education levels and intelligence levels. Actually likelihood of practicing bdsm directly increases with level of education. The more you know!!! :p
Verota 6
I was going to wonder how dumb and idiotic 97 and 101 must feel. Then I continued living my life.
IdaE 17
I would be scared too...
CTMPandemonium 16
#66 and now and can't get Nicholas Cages face out of my head at 6:40 am to go back to sleep lol.
Panchovilla64 6
He sounds really nice
PulseShock 9
I know right, some people just judge a book by its cover..
ohio53 6
In this case, the cover and first two chapters.
SmilieAKD 20
Did anybody actually read the book? He dominates her.
zinoxity 23
Woah. Well, that guy is definitely a pedophile.
graceinsheepwear 34
No he isn't. A 17 year old girl looks like an 18 year old legal girl--woman, whatever. The man has a Dominance/submission fetish, not pedophilia.
perdix 31
#4, he's an ephebophile.
graceinsheepwear 34
A submissive ephebophile. But in my experience (don't ask) submissive men get off on any large age discrepancy in either direction because it disrupts the power balance that much more. So I would bet submission is the more powerful urge. Just my take.
graceinsheepwear 34
31, and you still love Barbie and Pokemon your profile says. maybe you counted wrong and you aren't 22 at all...
ApollosMyth 22
56, you can like Pokemon at any age.
Soniye 14
#20 &- #4- it's actually teleiophile*
graceinsheepwear 34
65, that is younger attracted to older. You have that backwards. Teleiophile is someone younger attracted to mature adults. This is a case of older attracted to a teen. An ephebophile, like perdix said.
Sputnikspak 13
31: And when I was 14 I looked almost exactly like I do right now (pushing 30), only about 15lbs thinner. Wonders of having DD-cup boobs. Age can be hard to determine from puberty-mid 20's. It's still creepy to hit on someone like that. I remember walking the dog when I was 15 and some guy at the gas station who was like 45-50 started macking on me. It's awkward and uncomfortable as hell.
AngelSpit 18
I thought older men liking children. that were prepubescent but not really young (about ten and older give or take) was pederasty
AngelSpit 18
wait never mind pederasty is only for members of NAMBLA
brebabee793 13
turn him in
NagainaFier 16
For what? His proposition was creepy, but I don't think it was illegal (so long as he backed off when/if told she was underage). 17's not that far off from 18 physically, and unless she's the type who looks waaaaay younger than her actual age, how's the guy suppose to know?
NagainaFier 16
**er, well, creepy to her. I try not to judge on kinks and fetishes, so you can thumb down my poor wording now.
BellaBelle_fml 23
I would at least inform the manager of his creepy behavior so as to prevent him from continuing this behavior in the future which may escalate into actual illegal behavior. If I were a manager and something like this was happening in my store, I would definitely want to know about it so I could ban him because it is creepy and could lead to losing paying customers.
lilhellian 27
Well perdix does have a lot of fetishes...
graceinsheepwear 34
And more power to him. Rock on.
kalbrek009 20
Lolz, I didn't find it all that humorous....until I read the screen name. Heh heh.
dalink 24
We need a filter for top commenters... Like perdix
herh1996 6
omg poor you!
jw90 18
The **** is wrong with people these days?
BulldogHoops 14
I don't know, you did tell the poster of another FML to force his dick down the throat of his unwilling girlfriend...
jw90 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
As a joke haha
CharresBarkrey 16
That's not a joke. That's not even funny.
jw90 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dear Lord. Get over yourselves.
MacMonster 10
You're the one suggesting rape.
newyorkcityguy 9
Oh lord, somebody made an insensitive, offensive joke on the internet! Whatever shall we do?!
golden_warrior 23
Lol, I thought Perdix is locked in Noors basement
Catkam623 27
He is noor just likes company but she's extremely shy and sends perdix out to find attractive 18 year olds to help her so she doesn't have to do all the work(or meet them)
perdix 31
Love your username!
RpiesSPIES 27
First accepting anal, now creepily submissive. Why do you prey on FML-goers so, Perdix?
redbluegreen 41
Because he knows they're all virgins.
BlowinChronic 18
Damnnnnnnnnn^ that made me laugh
Pussycat86 18
First thing that popped into my head reading this Fml was you, second thing is that I think she wants you to comment on this Fml? Like she is asking for your opinion on this matter, anyone? No?
perdix 31
#51, an interesting take on the story. If she found him creepy, she should say she's not interested and if he doesn't back off, complain to the store staff to back him down. You shouldn't have to give up your favorite places -- the wrongdoers need to get banished. If you do find an older man who treats you with respect and you are comfortable with, you might want to give it a cautious go.
dontpanic_fml 32
I do hope perdix's comment stays at 69 likes
MrConcise 35
@55 - I think she should anyway, it's a lucrative business. We all know how damn expensive Starbucks is, she has to pay for her coffee somehow!
perdix 31
#68, I wonder if she said, "Get me my coffee, bitch!" would that be enough domination for him?
ironichalibut 24
55- that was an oddly lucid comment for you perdix.. I'm keeping my guard up for whatever you're holding back here.. Edit: damn I should've known, one minute late!