Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend's bastard ex whispered in my ear that, "She used to suck my cock with that mouth, think about that the next time she tries to kiss you." Now it's all I can picture every time she kisses me, and it's lowkey disgusting, and turns me off. FML
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Top comments
wootwootimahoot 10
Hypocrite.
Grand_Cookie 21
Sack up and stop doing it for her. Two can play that game.
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Comments (219)
havok87 11
Dump the bitch. I look at girls like that like a Beta max. Like " Wow, they still make you?"
pattayarick 8
She has the pussy, she makes the rules.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Get an upgrade.
timss4 19
Wow... Hypocrites don't belong in relationships
lucyskydiamonds 5
While I think OP's girlfriend is being silly calling it sick and demeaning, I do have to cut her a little slack. Many women can't get off from penetration alone. We need oral or some other kind of stimulation, whereas guys can get off almost any way, generally speaking. There are some unique cases, but that seems to be the norm. That being said, I do think OP and his girlfriend need to have themselves a nice long chat about whether this relationship is going to work for them if they're not compatible sexually. If her not willing to give ******** is a dealbreaker for OP, they're probably not going to last that much longer. Good luck, OP. All the best.
monstercity2 8
Is the sex good atleast?
luismig2 2
she don't play with the stick, you shouldn't eat the box...
thegreycat_fml 12
As said above, women generally can't get off as easily as men, so she may be using your performances to jump start herself on that front. However, it still is a little juvenile for her to call a bj demeaning. Try askin her why she feels that way, and see if she has reasons. That is, of course, only if it isn't a deal breaker that she doesn't give them. If it is, save both of you a lot of frustration and end it.
ZeroPath5 16
Radical Feminism at its finest...patriarchy and all that equality bs...
johnkocache 2
dump her like last week's garbage!