Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
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Top comments
abceasyas123abc 12
All for one and one for all..?!
cynthiaFTW 0
is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?
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Comments (246)
DalPozzo13 10
A family of criminals
cynthiaFTW 0
is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?
ydnar 5
looking at all the thumbs down I'm guessing the answer would be yes. I gave you a thumbs up. Of course there's something funny about this c'mon people!
Goldenchest 14
it's a double post
super_ella21 0
poo poo pee pee
puppy23 3
Well, the moms gonna get caught because now they know where she lives!
Garytt 0
why didnt you run?
22cute 17
because OP has something called "character" and "ethics" and "decency" despite being raised by a nutcase looser. I'm pretty sure that's the fml point. Not the ride.
BigPuss 0
lol your a big puss, your mom is better than you!
nohugs4u 8
yes, because shoplifting is a brave act
BigPuss 0
lol u mad x2 ?
BigPuss 0
lol I AM BIG PUSS, problem?
astrotacohead 0
r u that poor
Awahso 25
Haha wow, that really sucks.
Garytt 0
run forrest RUN!
ToyotaObsession 1
didn't they call the cops and arrest your mom at her house??
giantsfan2010 23
Toyota, moving forward, even when you don't want to.
ToyotaObsession 1
You must be very proud of yourself for figuring how to use google to find that joke.
elmousey 5
Well it doesn't help that they have brakes that don't work and electronic accelerators that fail. Why cry over a joke anyways?
iislix1ii 19
yet what people dont realize they busted their asses to fix that mistake people nowaday are ungrateful bastards
ToyotaObsession 1
Rofl where have you been? hiding in a defunct Ford plant? The US government came out and said it was the drivers faults. it's ok Toyota is a superior product. I can see why you would be jealous.
ReynshineCutting 10
Which is why Ford F-150s outsell Toyota "trucks" (you can't really call those jokes on wheels trucks) every year and has outsold any other truck for about 30 years. Yep. Definitely not as good as Toyota.