Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
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Top comments
abceasyas123abc 12
All for one and one for all..?!
cynthiaFTW 0
is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?
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Comments (246)
Bams430 0
Your mom is badass
sxe_beast 11
White trash/ghettoness at its finest!
BWill9014 4
I hope w/e she stole was worth it and wasn't something stupid like 25 cent kool aid packets...
quinnjamin10 2
Wouldn't you enjoy those... LMFAO...
BWill9014 4
It's true... I would enjoy those :l
spazmattic 0
52 has penis envy
epyk_pryncess 8
48- I /think/ whatever she stole would have the magnetic tag on them... but then again maybe kool-aid is a prime target... ;) oh, you people... LAUGH!
sxe_beast 11
Kool aid is gross.
KillTheNoise 0
LOLOLOLOLOLOL Stereotypes! Idiot.
quinnjamin10 2
what the heck?? why was day moderated??
nubx 0
I blame the economy.
Jaxon26 0
I hear that everywhere...
sixfoot2 0
damn another shitty parent
Miss_Kristen 10
Kmart ftw :)
rocketeer_97 1
damn. what the hell did she steal ?
cockseverywhere 2
condoms so she wouldn't have another disobedient child.
Jaxon26 0
Lol
DMC_Hotness 0
lol. the south
cockseverywhere 2
what a shitty child for not following your mothers orders.
JeansKismet 9
She shouldn't have to go over the game plan every time you go to WM together. YDI