Today, I thought an attractive guy was looking at my tits instead of my face, and prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt. Unfortunately, he was actually looking at the peeling and flaking sunburn in my cleavage, and informed me that Aloe might be helpful. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML
Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I got the worst sunburn I've ever had in my life, and then discovered I'm allergic to aloe when I went to treat the burn with some gel. FML
Today I got sunburned on my cheeks. This wouldn't be too bad if they were the ones on my face. FML
Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML
Today, it's hot and sunny, and a customer asked me how I was, I responded by saying "It's a hot sunny day. Who doesn't love the sun?" He responded by telling me he had just had three melanomas cut out. I guess I did find someone who doesn't like the sun. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nananabatmannnn 0
Prepared to act offended? That's why no one likes you. Playing hard to get is for middle schoolers. And wear sunscreen unless you want to look like leather chaps by the time you're thirty.
Carpy 8
OP, why the hell would you prepare to act offended if you were wanting to flirt? Isn't that kinda like being a bitch to a guy but then also wanting his attention? Grow up. If you don't want guys looking at your rack then stop showing them when you're out. If you want a guy to flirt with you, try talking to him like you're not an attention-seeking bitch & tell him you're interested. Playing hard to get is for middle-schoolers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
BabbiiLovvee 0
lol. I'm sorry. :)
kyanisaurus 0
my gaydar says BEEP BEEP h*mo alert!
BabbiiLovvee 0
who?
Discombobulated9 12
If I had flaky breasts I wouldn't have them on show.
Carpy 8
OP, why the hell would you prepare to act offended if you were wanting to flirt? Isn't that kinda like being a bitch to a guy but then also wanting his attention? Grow up. If you don't want guys looking at your rack then stop showing them when you're out. If you want a guy to flirt with you, try talking to him like you're not an attention-seeking bitch & tell him you're interested. Playing hard to get is for middle-schoolers.
herrobear 0
"prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt." You know how I know you're an attention ***** OP? You have flaky breasts yet you still wanna show them off.
BrunetteBabe4 0
I agree with that guy ^^
MizzErikaHart 8
sooooo, he was looking at ur ****, basicly right?
oblio 0
60, exactly. then he made a lame excuse to cover his transgression.
shannonreneee 11
There is never, ever a time or place for flaky *******. Never.
Calyx_fml 22
Imagine that a guy was walking around with his pants so low that you could see the base of his ****. Then imagine that when he saw a girl looking at it he got all offended as if he had a right to walk around with his exposed **** unnoticed. But then imagine that the guy was actually faking offense because he actually liked the attention (but only from the girls he was attracted to) and wanted to use his exposure as a way to start flirting (vainly and naively assuming that his stellar personality would be more interesting to the girl than his exposed ****). Then imagine that the girl noticed that the guy had ingrown pubic hairs. That's your story. Hope you feel good about yourself. You're sure to land a great boyfriend with those techniques.
YacL 15
I saw something like that on an app. "Before equality and after equality".
jsizzle1297 0
bitch
Valentina_Baby 7
It might
volley4eva1698 0
he's just trying to help hhaha
brainsoverbeauty 21
She said "prepared to act offended and perhaps flirt"... Really OP? Really?
TinyDude 10
at least u were right abt the staring at ur cleavage part.
saning 2
57 - I think I see some flakes. :)
Tsunami87 17
do you not have sunburn elsewhere too? sounds like he wanted to look at your melons
braasilianx0 4
agreed. and aloe will help. don't be offended, he's just trying to help.
example947 0
maybe he'd like to rub it all over for you?
zakkyzebra 11
why would he stare at her melons when he can stare at her lovely bunch of coconuts?
Boygenius50 8
She must have turned red with embarrassment. . .
noshatsherlockk 15
ask him to put it on for you.
whosechairisthat 0
best. win. ever.
noshatsherlockk 15
hey thanks!!
hatesfate 6
flaky **** are bad. fyl op
nananabatmannnn 0
Prepared to act offended? That's why no one likes you. Playing hard to get is for middle schoolers. And wear sunscreen unless you want to look like leather chaps by the time you're thirty.
zowieandzander77 1
so true... that's incredibly childish
resplendencerino_fml 3
haha, couldn't have said it better myself!
calvin10 0
yup!! YDI
shaniecerb 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
is it playing hard to get if you are hard to get?its natural for me to act that way because if i didnt id have a billion boyfriends and or sex partners
Alicia17C 2
"billion sex partners" could u mean ur fingers? lol stop falsely bragging about how amazing u r. if it were true u wouldn't b telling every1 about it on fml.
Calyx_fml 22
What are you incapable of walking away without the bitch act? I'll bet that all of the guys you date are jerks. Its because jerks are the only ones who will keep pursuing you even though you keep dissing them. Jerks dont care what you want, they only care what they want. Your behavior actively filters out the best men!!! You have no clue what you're missing.
khlinka 0
Wait I thought guys like women who are hard to get because it's a challenge on the relationship side of things. Easy girls might give you stds because every guy can easily get her.
hiyourcute 0
It's one thing to not be easy, but it's another to actively insult guys in the process of "flirting". There's quite a big happy medium in there.
withered 30
#108 What? Even if a woman has multiple sexual partners and/or is "easy" it does not mean she does not use protection during sex...
emmiep1011 7
you should probably take care of that...
Ak30 5
Can you take care of me?(:
MaximilianMarche 0
is there a point to ur comment or do u just like to state the obvious?
icantellu 7
haha I like you.
emmiep1011 7
you decide.
jam63 1
your pretty hot
luvppl 6
oooh that's embarrassing, but at least you know that he wasn't looking at your boobs because he's a jerk, but because he was trying to help
cgchamp89 7
Gullible is written on the ceiling...
jmtmxer 0
i bet you anything she really looked up haha
scottymbev 0
well at least he caredbout ur **** xd
OhDangLetsBangBa 0
that's probably the only thing he cared about.