Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
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Top comments
abceasyas123abc 12
All for one and one for all..?!
cynthiaFTW 0
is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?
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Comments (246)
whyitsnotreality 2
I guess your not cut out for the whole bandit charade are ya?
Jboy1218 0
bonne and cylde?
OCDC 9
*Bonnie and Clyde And no, not really.
emtae6307 4
there are walmarts all over the world, who said it was in the US?
Nudi_fml 13
Just the simple fact that the FML is reported to origin in the US. "On 06/08/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States"
frankgrimes 4
yea right! stupid lie. seriously whoever this is is dumbass
luvppl 6
wow cool mom :) did the security gourd come in and arrest her?
luvppl 6
*guard
jackiemoonthepro 5
your mum is awesome!
Sub_Zero_is_God 13
And she would have gotten away with it to if it was not for you meddling kid!
rhysfucker 24
nice scooby-doo reference !
wriptidez 0
lol sitcom
marinaim 17
Why is everyone saying 'cool mom'? Since when has shoplifting been cool? Jesus christ, people today.
NatureGirlWi 0
Hahaha My Bad! But shit that's funny! Hahahahahahaha