Today, my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven't brought a guy home in over 7 years. Nope. I'm just a crazy cat lady, minus the cats. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I’d rather be the crazy cat lady rather than get married and have kids like a normal human. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says, "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
Today, I got a call from a telemarketer who asked, "Is this the crazy cat lady?" I only own one cat, but apparently, that’s all it takes to earn a reputation. FML
Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML
Today, I think I was just nominated as a crazy old cat lady. I was sitting in my garden when a stray methodically came back and forth, leaving her three kittens in one of my flowerbeds two feet from me, and now she hasn’t been back all day. I guess I own cats now. Three of them. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
You can't be a crazy cat lady without any cats.
swervelol 28
I don't see why you consider yourself a crazy cat lady without any cats. A crazy single lady is more like it!
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Comments (24)
emeraldisle 30
You can't be a crazy cat lady without any cats.
squizzlebee 19
Sure you can! I'd definitely be a crazy cat lady but I'm allergic unfortunately >< so I call myself one in spirit
LyricaSilvan 30
I think the term for it is "spinster."
Lalala579121 28
Then you'd just be a crazy lady.
Moskaaa7 26
This post could have been written by me! I feel you, OP.
Magnoxidans 19
When your profile picture contains a silhouette of a cat, you know you're being serious
swervelol 28
I don't see why you consider yourself a crazy cat lady without any cats. A crazy single lady is more like it!
False_Stupidity 42
Or just crazy lady
tibtak_fml 10
Probably because she is a crazy lady
mermaidkeels 26
Hmm, all I see are solutions to your current situation. You have a variety of options ranging from-getting a cat, boyfriend/girlfriend, telling your mom your reasons for being single/to mind her own business, or continue living your life without the responsibility of feeding a cat/boyfriend. Best of luck, OP!
socialproduct 19
I recommend getting a cat and a boyfriend and let the boyfriend feed the cat.
Soverain 15
Why is there such a stigma against being single in our society? It takes time finding the right person for you.
Rabite 28
Or maybe you aren't even looking for the "right person" and just wanna have fun.
homtravel 10
I hope you've gone at least once into a guy's home for the past 7 years
TaoShaman 24
Why?
socialproduct 19
So based on this FML we can conclude that: Crazy Cat Lady - Cats = Lesbian I had no idea.
ThrottleJockey 36
Been there OP. I didn't date until I met my girlfriend, now wife, at the age of 25. My parents even went so far as to buy me a book titled "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".
manuwish 9
whuuuuut? ..so now crazy cat ladies aren't entitled to having a boyfriend? And not being into cats or meaningless sex makes you lesbian? what the..
whatshuman43 8
It's called sarcasm dude
tigeresscrazy 12
Sounds like me but in my case I've never brought a guy home lol