Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Today, I was dragged to the food store with my mom. While we were shopping, the fire alarm went off. My mom pushed the cart at me, nearly knocking me over, and sprinted for the door. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML
Today, I was accused of shoplifting, after the alarm started beeping as I walked into the store. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
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Top comments
abceasyas123abc 12
All for one and one for all..?!
cynthiaFTW 0
is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?
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Comments (246)
abceasyas123abc 12
All for one and one for all..?!
cocobulla1 4
[email protected]
ImmortalKratos 0
and you led the security guard to yours and your moms house!?!?!? DISOWNED
BigPuss 0
Executed by the steak!
Kawboy 1
Trust noone!! Three can keep a secret if two are dead!
GreenMaze 0
Run Forest Run!
SouljaBabii 0
wow worst the my
IceeCreamm 7
Run run keep running homie?
enonymous 9
Cardio, Double Tap, Seatbelts, Don't use a public toilet, Don't be a hero, Enjoy the small things in life. All of tees apply to shopping at Walmart
enonymous 9
these*
BabbiiLovvee 0
44 u got that from pretty little liars ;) lol
Kawboy 1
99.. No I have a shirt that says that on the back.
mariet_fml 23
@99: Try Benjamin Franklin, you twit.
PurpleRae420 0
Your mother is an idiot walmart COME ON it's actually easy to steal from Walmart but why would you most people have the money and if you don't wanna spend your money at a store THEN DONT GO!
notsocrazee 0
walmart has a security guard?
Invasion976 6
Yes, the greeter is secretly an undercover security guard.
OneNightStan 2
Hillbilly USA!
Sinsoftheman 0
Lol
poplite02 5
@148 Lol yea because the little old lady that greets you when you come in can really run after you and tackle you to the ground. She might even be packin'.
TurkTurkleton 0
...what?
OceanBreathesSal 5
141 it's more of a rent-a-cop
bezach 0
141 at my local Wally, there's an old lady greeter but five bouncers hang around the front with tazers. and their pretty stacked.
sirdolittle 0
"it's every man for himself !!!" Philip J.
bigfoot89 4
u mean 3 can keep a secret if 1 is dead?!!
biass 0
lol 178 futurama?
justthinkaboutit 2
I hope she did lead the police straight to her moms house!!!! That's what her mom deserves! It's bad enough her mom is a thief, but to involve her kid like that? Jailtime!!
Socks91 16
nah, it's two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.
GuessWhatKids 13
Rule 1 of Living In The Ghetto: When you hit a store, don't bring your kids.
jayfish7 0
we goin to wallie wallie wallie wallie wallie wallie world!
chrian182009 0
haha true
nlr 9
y'all asking about walmart having cops reminded me that store or mall cops are just cops that couldn't make it into the real world!( and 99 pretty little liars' saying is different from that just saying...
tgd4444 9
10 can keep a secret if noone tells anyone :)
kiki122012 5
93- you got that from Zombieland.
PerditaDessa 38
156, if you're questioning the old ladies abilities to tackle someone you've missed out on some awesome FML's.
nlr 9
I'm sorry :(
funktown 2
I thought this stuff only happened in movies hahah
BigPuss 0
Lol u mad?
atthegates 0
stuff your sorries in a sack
nlr 9
85 haha very funny.
ohrlynao 0
OP: YDI for not running ;)
nlr 9
maybe they didn't run because op wads shocked that their mom actually stole and they were taught nit to steal....
nlr 9
was* not**
CheeryJoker 0
hahaha only in America
krazyvato 0
your moms down but you aren't. sad
Boygenius50 8
Bitch run faster
kyanisaurus 0
God bless Amurika! hope this goes on Peopleofwalmart
A7X_LoVeee 10
Yeah, because shoplifting only occurs in America. derp.
jlentriken 8
ah if only I could like this enough to make it positive coz it's so true :p
kerry1116 0
hahahahahahaha so true
meggs2209 0
agreed
marix54888 0
#3 what are you going to do about it?
somethinorother 0
well, wal mart is pretty much only in America. so I guess it is only in America. :D
ImpendingRiot 0
143 is right and y does everyone say only in America and shit? like none of the countries around the world have shoplifting or obese people (although we have more haha) but I bet if u looked around ur house (or ur parents house cuz that's where most of u trolls live) u would find that most stuff is invented by Americans so b grateful and stop hatin
ImpendingRiot 0
143 is right and y does everyone say only in America and shit? like none of the countries around the world have shoplifting or obese people (although we have more haha) but I bet if u looked around ur house (or ur parents house cuz that's where most of u trolls live) u would find that most stuff is invented by Americans so b grateful and stop hatin
oops_im_fucked 8
At least we don't serve royalty lol it's the 21st century idiots...
PhishloverA 14
Because #216, it's just an expression people use. People like you really need to stop taking it so seriously and getting all bent out of shape over it..
grace31297 14
216- most things are invented in china or Japan or other Asian countries. Dumbass!
abc_1_2_3 12
Not true!! Im currently in Mexico and ive seen a couple of walmarts here so...
cynthiaFTW 0
is it bad that i laughed REALLY hard at this?
DanielNoTP 0
No perfectly normal:)
Adorlee 11
I laughed really hard too! can picture everything in my head lol so jokes
cupcakexxrawr 0
yes lol
SirWrangler 5
Nope, I think of this FML as one of the best to date. Perfectly normal:)
electricmaster 0
Sí, señora :p
davidlime 3
RUN! No, I'm going to stand and wait around.. ladadada. Yeah.. YTDI
Bubblerider 3
Yeah, it just makes it seem like youare part of it too.
spazmattic 0
Bulbasaur owns. OP, your mom sucks for not letting you know about her little coup in advance. You could probably have had the car going or something.
BigPuss 0
lol u mad?
thatonename 7
or ya know, not shoplift from walmart. idk I'm guessing all these people condoning stealing have never been robbed before.
cnygard95 12
He/She did not ****** DESERVE IT.
tsim_fml 0
130 - He
chika_yeaah23 0
shoulda ran lol
Livinia 11
Shoplifting at Walmart?! Seriously, if you're going to shoplift, at least do it somewhere worthwhile.
Awahso 25
Actually, Wal-Mart can have some stuff worth nicking.
ImmortalKratos 0
all the good stuff is in glass cases tho :/.
FirstBornUnicorn 0
I was thinking target.
TheSithAssassin 15
Psh..... not the ones at Walmart. Come on now.
nick315 8
why shoplift Walmart u are basically stealling with those low prices any way :p.
nick315 8
why shoplift Walmart u are basically stealling with those low prices any way :p.
a_nutritionist 10
ah from my old childhood books, mother of the year takes her daughter shopping. Next in the series, mother of the year gets charged for tax fraud
Quagmire_ladies 9
hahahaha
KaanTech 0
greedisgood
funkthat26 2
Aapplestores are becoming famous becouse of that.
WoAhAnNa123 0
yeah... so op, what exactly DID your mom take?
eminemchick 19
i shoplift from walmart all the time..:) i took a 6" farbergard boning knife just yesterday from there.
angel55033 12
183 you're pathetic. anyone who brags about stealing need to be shot
jenjen0146 7
just remember sooner or later you will get caught and they most certainly prosecute. if the security has seen you do it and hasn't stopped you yet they may even be working on making a nice huge case against you when they do decide to stop you. so not only will they throw your ass in jail and most likely fine you. you will also have a "no trespass" order put against you for a year and I'd they see you step foot back in there during that order they will gladly have the cops escort your thieving ass out. try getting off your ass and working hard for your money like the workers at your local Walmart do each day while lazy assholes like you who don't know how to earn for themselves come in and take away from the workers and their company. I really hate low life **** suckers like you! get a damn job you ******* hemriod on the asshole is society!
bthomas0319 2
Thumbs up this comment(:
GeneralMotors 23
did the mom get caught?
EffinToofer 3
This proves that parents are not to blame for the bad (or good) behavior of their children.