Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Reported
Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Busted
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML
Confess!
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Drunken antics
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Surprise!
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Groceries Theft Auto.
rahulcool7 14
He seems like he is a very trusting guy
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Comments (117)
SpikyG 3
WTF. Dad=Fail (If he's not old)
daisy2101 7
WTF. This comment=fail
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Both your comments suck. As for an FML related comment: OP, what the hell were you doing for an hour and a half? When I go get groceries, I take no more than half an hour. However, it really was stupid of your dad to report you as a runaway. Could he not have called you to ask where you were? I see no reason why he had to resort to calling the cops first. On the other hand, at least you all now have food.
newbiehere99 6
22: that comment was just too much ...
Neonemerld 21
22, it all depends how far away the nearest grocery store is, and how much OP was picking up. If the nearest grocery store is 20 minutes away by car, and he has a lot to pick up, an hour and a half is not that unreasonable.
SpikyG 3
22. Don't you understand that the Internet is for noobs?
Yellow_Fish79 11
How old is your dad? o_o
N3766 20
As old as the universe.
BlowinChronic 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Who cares how old he is?... It's irrelevant to the FML.
Nevermind212 11
Talking about dementia..
chelseaaababyyy 17
57 - Think before posting a dick comment. 2 - I don't understand why you're getting thumbed down. Seems like a perfectly valid question.
JaykeXD 9
I think someone has Alzheimers.
shayshayshazam 14
How sweet of you to point out
blahblah0392 7
Ahh Alzheimer's Is memory loss...I don't think that's what happened
IscoreOnU 19
Could be exactly what happened.. Wouldn't be the first time.
kut17 11
No, you guys have it all wrong. OP's dad just wants him to move out of the house. If that means framing him and sending him to jail, so be it.
BlowinChronic 18
It doesn't sound like Alzheimer's at all, the dad remembered that his kid was out getting groceries, but because it took them a long time he kind of had a panic attack, I don't believe it has to do with him having a bad memory at all.
tehcyberman 9
58- Never did it say that the dad remembered he asked his son to get the groceries. You are just assuming that, and it is more likely he did forget, which would be he got worried. From his perspective, assuming he forgot, his son just mysteriously disappeared for the past hour and a half.
tehcyberman 9
which would be why*
Mearemoi 14
#58 - The FML said nothing about how OP's father remembered that OP went out to get groceries. For all we COULD have forgotten.
BlowinChronic 18
So you guys are also assuming, you believe that he has forgotten.
gracehi 33
It's a pretty safe assumption the dad didn't remember because it's unlikely he'd panic and assume his son ran away after just an hour and a half.
rahulcool7 14
He seems like he is a very trusting guy
loloalltheway 23
"Did I yell you it was okey to use my car without calling me and telling me every 10 second!? I THINK NOT" "Sorry dad, I just wanted to be a good son/daughter and help you for once" "NEXT TIME WALK!!!"
xXxIracebethxXx 14
^ Your comment wasn't funny. Also, fix your grammar, punctuation, and spelling. It's ******* terrible.
ant1ion 12
^ who's comment doesn't suck, to you?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
^ Comments that don't try too hard, don't state the complete obvious, and aren't full of stupid.
free2speak 14
Wow, 32, you sure have some nerve calling out people's comments for being boring or grammatically incorrect when yours aren't funny, witty, practical, or charming either. In fact, the only word I can think of to describe your comments is "tasteless." They add absolutely no value to the FML itself. Please do us all a favor and leave the FML community and seeing as all of your comments are downvoted into oblivion, I'm actually doing you a favor. You're welcome.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#38 - You must have a pretty big ego if you think your comments are exactly what you said mine aren't. Haha, typical FML member thinking you're so grand. Yes, I have some nerve to be blunt, but hey, that's how I am. So get the **** off my ass, and move along. Thanks.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
Jeez 42, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#45 - I don't eat Cheerios. :)
gmc_blossom 21
46- Maybe if you did eat Cheerios you would be less of a bitch.
jollyton 10
Lmao!! That's funnay!
lilhellian 27
Why don't you both shush and read FML. There problem solved. Now move along people please.
whiteboy896 9
38 - Hypocrite much?
loloalltheway 23
Oh well I tried, nobody is perfect and btw #26, I am not from an English speaking country therefore I don't have the most perfect English. This is FML, a place for us who don't take things so serious:) Have a laugh once in a while and you might not be as stif.
AllyyK 9
#42 Wow. There is a difference between being blunt and being a stuck up bitch. Unfortuantly for you, you're just a stuck up bitch who really needs some Midol apparently. This isn't the place for little girls.
culito_fml 10
O.o
free2speak 14
=O OP's face when he/she got home
xXxIracebethxXx 14
24 - Were you present when OP arrived home and that's what enables you to "correctly" announce to the FML community what his/her expression was?
MasterTron 24
31 Where you there? Please tell me where you? No? Then shut the **** up and leave 24 alone.
free2speak 14
31, neither were you. So what's your point again? And since it is an FML, the shocked expression is quite fitting. It was also an appropriate response to the original comment seeing as how O.o would have been reader's face and :O would've been OP's face. So many reason to justify my comment. What's yours? And I see downvote fairies are doing what they're best at. Tsk tsk. Upvotes for everyone except you, 31. You get nothing.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#35 - LOL, aren't you one to play hypocrite? Unless you were there, you can't justify the lack or non-lack of presence of either both of us. So you should shut the **** up as well, **** munch. Btw, it's were* not where. #36 - Oh, please. I couldn't care less about the infamy I gain on the Internet because of exactly that; it's the Internet. Down votes or up votes can go straight up your ass for all I care. I don't think I need a reason to justify my comment, seeing as others don't need to, when it involves stupidity and what not. TL;DR Version: Both of you get off your high horses and move the **** along. Sheesh.
free2speak 14
All of your comments point to one direction, 31, and that is to establish the fact that you're what is infamously referred to as a "troll." I refuse to engage your plain ignorance anymore for it would require me to stoop to your level and i shall not degrade myself like that. For everyone else reading this-- this is a public service announcement. A troll (#31) has been spotted. DO NOT feed the troll. I repeat, DO NOT feed the toll.
DocBastard 40
Aaaand scene! Great job, you guys. Really, you people are amazing. And so talented, so beautiful! Now let's all take 5. No but seriously, shut the hell up.
Neonemerld 21
37, every comment I've seen from you, you've been a total bitch. Yes, this is the Internet, but so what? Being on the Internet isn't a get out a jail free card where you can throw all dignity and respect out the window. It's people like you that make the Internet really shirty.
gracehi 33
Iracebeth, all you do is criticize other people's comments. Could this be because you lack the creativity to come up with something original of your own? And this is the second thread in which you've argued with speakfreely over some dumb shit. Looking at the comments' numbers I notice you were engaging in both arguments at the same time. You must be a pretty experienced troll to be able to multitask like that. This leads me to believe you must have a pretty pathetic life if you need to get your self esteem boost from cutting down strangers over the internet. Sorry. Hope things improve, along with your attitude.
lilhellian 27
Guys this is most likely a case of big bitch on net, little kid off net. Bitching at her won't change her. Thumb her down and wait for moderation.
gracehi 33
*few2 speak. Sorry I remembered your name wrong when I was typing. I was close, at least.
gracehi 33
*free2 speak. Ducking swype.
lilhellian 27
Seems like your phone is kicking your ass lol.
gracehi 33
Ha ha! I guess it is! Wiley little Samsung!
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Great, more FMLer's thinking I gain an ego boost through the Internet. *facepalm* Jeez.
lilhellian 27
94 I use a samsung lol. It's a droid charge a first model bleh.
gracehi 33
Well if you don't want people to think that perhaps you should stop your pathetic attempts at bullying people. Just a suggestion.
free2speak 14
:O
Racky_fml 14
How far was the store? Does you Dad have any problems with trust or memory?
oj101 33
One and a half hours is quite long just for getting groceries. Perhaps your dad shops little and often?
Ameel_fml 19
Really? I guess it depends on how many groceries you need to get, but my weekly grocery shopping usually takes about an hour, sometimes more.
BlowinChronic 18
And you also have to think about how far away the grocery store is.
xNephilim 19
It takes me a good two hours to get groceries, depending on how busy Walmart is. If it's really busy, two hours. If it's not quite so busy, a hour and a half usually. I live twenty minutes outside of town, so it takes me a while to get there anyway.
PhishloverA 14
Actually #7 sometimes it does take that long or maybe even longer
annie_nk 23
Apparently an hour an a half is long enough for OP's dad to assume he was never coming back.
timjones 8
Why would the cops be all around your house. He just reported a runaway child and a stolen vehicle. No more than 2 cop cars should show up. I'm wondering if your cops have nothing better to do.
tygerarmy 35
Agreed. The OP's father should be charged with filing a false report. For wasting the police officers time, no matter how bored they were.
rahulcool7 14
Well it is not really a false report if he honestly thought it was stolen
SkoomaKi 28
Groceries Theft Auto.
zinoxity 23
More like Grand theft groceries. Grand theft auto = theft of automobiles.
Isoldael 27
Yes, but OP didn't steal groceries, he supposedly stole the car while getting groceries :)