Anonymous
United States
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
disappointment son
Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
xXglycerinXx
United States
Cart Narcs
Today, my mom yelled at me for trying to return a shopping cart to the cart corral. She then forced me to leave it in the parking lot. FML
Anonymous
United States
Get a move on!
Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
SilverAuthor
Detroit, United States
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
dude, where's my balls? :(
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Anchorage, United States
Sleigh bells
Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML
Rastaa_Reyes
The definition of irony
Today, I went to Wal-Mart with my mom. She kept telling me to put my keys away so I wouldn't lose them. After a few times, I got annoyed and yelled at her. When we got back to her house, I realized I'd lost my keys. FML
Anonymous
Thieves like us
Today, my mom stole my holiday money because she found it “near her bag” in my kitchen and “assumed it was hers” and she must have “forgotten it was in there all this time.” I demanded it back, but she’d already spent it on hair, nails, shoes, and a date night with dad. She won’t pay me back either. FML
sarahwittman
United States
Scammers gonna scam
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Your mom is awesome.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
gotta pinch them pennies
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Comments (177)
hannahtaskey 9
Your mom is awesome.
mooshibear140 4
not really that awesome. ^^
hahaitsmattheau 0
tell her to get some more damn money
x_KL_x 7
Your Mum is a tool.
dearbarn 0
if they got busted bet she would put it all on him
sskarma23 9
your mom needs a job who the f**k steals from a dollar store?
babyydolly 0
^^^ obviously ops mom.
enonymous 9
Cocaine is a helluva drug. costs a lot of money. now if she did crack instead then there's just no excuse to pay the dollar store
PutItIn 8
My FML I posted "Today my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the homeless shelter.
PutItIn 8
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the homeless shelter.
LaughterofCorn 4
You cant beat those prices!
Mooissa 0
no her mom is cheap!
NTimmy 2
typical Asian
NastyNinja31 0
imagine the police report if she got caught
lalala2589 0
Why is it awesome to shoplift? It's not really cool to be selfish and make other people pay for shit you don't even need. Yeah it was a one dollar store, but millions of other people steal everyday, it's going to add up eventually. Its not just one person. FYL for having a selfish mom who's willing to get you into legal trouble over $1 to save her ass.
FarSide 23
Its the Economy. Momma's "whoring for crack" just not producing like it did 10 years ago...
Friaza 29
I'd say it's a major parent fail.
Thatswhatshesaid_fml 3
your mom: steal that for mommy kid: hell no! mom: yes or else! kid: sticks something in pocket "leaves & they get caught" mom: runs like hell. kid: see what had happened was..
moomoo14 0
dayuum u broke... sorry
katsteak 0
its ressesion bitch.
TheMasticater 9
you know you live in the southeast united states when...
eminemchick 19
ive done that before. its not even a good store to shoplift from, the products have shit qualityXD i recommend target or walmart, walmart even has a non metal detected door on the side:D
sxe_beast 11
Yes because Walmart and Target are places you're going to be places with high quality items. How about not stealing at all? *coughtrashycough*
humzizzl3 0
are you black ?
eminemchick 19
119 i cant understand u over that throat cancer. also stealing is fun:D do not question my activities.:)
nerdfighteria 7
124- Cool, so what's your address? I could use a little fun. Are you out anytime this week?
sxe_beast 11
Yes, petty theft epitomizes fun. You're soooooooo cool. If you don't want your activities questioned then don't blatantly brag about them in a public forum.
sxe_beast 11
Oops double post.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'm loosing faith in my generation. So many stupid, arrogant, and assholes, or a combo of them. Yes, I'm from '95 eminemchick, and your behavior disgusts me.
Klayzilla 1
I wouldn't say it's cool. I just don't like contributing to the mass genocide of child laborers in third world countries. While greedy CEOs are sitting in their mansion, earning millions of dollars each year children that actually work are getting paid barely enough to live. So yeah, crimes against humanity are SO awesome.
FarSide 23
Oh for piss' sake. By your logic, YOU would have the children not earning ANYTHING. Here's a clue for you: getting PAID to work beats being broke. But your candy ass probably doesn't know about working.
gogreen8856 0
she's not a good influence!!
Randuhh_17 4
Well, those greedy CEOs are the ones who give us the job... maybe instead of bitchin' about that...you can bitch about why I have to give my money away, and support lazy people, who don't wanna work...
sxe_beast 11
My father is a CEO and its offensive to lump all of them together as greedy people committing crimes against humanity. What a bullshit cop-out. If you want something, go get a job. My fathers has a decent salary, but I still have to hold a part-time job. >.>
GrahamAker 3
153 no one gives a **** about you or your dad. Sorry to be harsh but your probably having a better life than other people. 200,000 isn't decent it's amazing. Not all Ceos are evil but it's understanable if they are. For to make money they gotta stuff that to us might not sound right. Its the greedy complex all humans have, and why comunism fails. To me if some Indian got to work 20 hours a day to live that's what they got to do. No one has a gun to their heads.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
gotta pinch them pennies
nissanman_fml 16
Pinch 'em real hard!
howslife123 0
^ nasty.
howslife123 0
^ nasty.
tal26ful 0
haha love the account name
HJ0HN50N 4
I like to pinch the penny till Abe screams
krispybacon4321 23
You feelin' it now Mr. Krabs?
_NoobsRapedMe 2
Well its not her fault , those bitches are expensive .
Zuber_fml 4
the best mom in the world
sengirl14 5
so...what'd you get?
howslife123 0
probably a bunch of Popsicle sticks because she needs them to build a house..
shaala_fml 0
dude Thats mess why would you say that
edogy 0
Touché 41, touché...
cricketlover 0
not even brown parents do that...
kings1fan 6
Well at least you won't get caught because dollar stores can't afford cameras in the store only mirrors hahaha
auroracc99 0
I don't think it's cause they can't afford them just that it's a dollar store. So if anything is stolen, oh well it's a dollar. :P
howslife123 0
you should see the 89 cent store.. they pay hobbits to watch you through the shelves -_-
leemurcat 5
The dollar store where I live has cameras. They have a screen that alternates views every few seconds by the cash register. And I live in a small town, so it's not as if we have more money going around out here.
masonsa 0
the cameras are inside the mirrors
TheSchizoPsycho 5
no they're not, ******* tard. the mirrors r too thin for cameras. I should know. I manage a dg store.
FarSide 23
@97. Well, ain't you the shit! A DG Manager! Your profile says you hate bullshit. And you are 17 years old. Pimply-Faced-Kid-Syndrome has left you delusional, TheSchizoPsycho. But your name is certainly on point.
smokerhippie420 0
exactly
jacob4848 4
If she needs money that bad just put a sign up that says " A buck a suck".
kings1fan 6
Good thing I have a dollar in my pocket!
BabyyJesuss 0
I have ten of them! what do I get?
howslife123 0
maybe for ten dollars she'll spit on you but do t get your hopes up
leemurcat 5
I hate it when my mom carries her signs in public.
BabyOtaku 0
this comment is full of win XD
yomommma 6
And do something strange for some change.
zhightower 3
what is there in a dollar store that is worth shoplifting???
djmacncheeze 6
cute little erasers shaped like ice cream.
xleanne_aLly 23
drinks, gum, office supplies, stuff to eat with, foooood. etc etc.