Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.
fthku 13
$50 per session is my type of girl.
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Comments (147)
RyanMacVey 17
oh :/ was trying to be funny ... sorry to disappoint master (;
zander2413 0
that's more action than I've ever got I still wet the bed I can't do anything
zander2413 0
with anyone):
smurfsarwales 9
ur accent even shows on fml :D
shali14 0
dude it's 3 dates were Yu expecting to have sex with the guy?
chiddy_bang71 0
actually yes
lemonsquid 6
make a move! don't always make him do it! :D
agaba 0
phfff thats WAYY more action then i get
sabrinahusic 0
Anyone else think this guy OP is dating is a virgin? I mean what kinda guy goes out with you 3 times and doesn't make any moves? Hm maybe he's waiting until marriage and if that's the case.....FYL indeed.
maskedman 9
word! women have needs.
sabrinahusic 0
:D exactly.
imcutefml 0
i have needs...
j_cat187 20
thats how i read everything
bnvc 0
after 3 dates? wow. chill. if you had any self respect, you'd wait longer. youre what they call, *****.
Quest_ 13
You're what they call, sexist.
ThorneCrossed 9
I agree op is what I would call a *****. I went with a girl who tried to do naughty things on the second date.
iSurf_fml 8
Was it a hand-five or a boner-five?