Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping I'd finally get some action. I got a high five. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML
Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Today, I got further with a guy than I've ever before. By that, I mean I got his phone number. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, I had an important job interview. The interviewer really seemed to like me. Instead of hiring me, he asked me out on a date. FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
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Top comments
flockz 20
a high five where her hand was the ****** and his hand was his dick.
fthku 13
$50 per session is my type of girl.
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Comments (147)
kidcanada 4
dont be so trashy
JLY_fml 0
either he is gay or ur ugly
Thisismypchere 8
One last thing before I quit I never wanted any more than I could fit into my head I still remember every single word you said and all that shit that somehow came along with it still there's one thing that comforts me since I was always caged and now I'm free
LaciT07 0
damn that sucks
SteelCladAngel 0
maybe he actually respects you as a human being and not just a vessel he can get his rocks off in...
bigbadtim 7
A high five is an action, of sorts.
HoMachine 1
start dropping some hints.. maybe the guy is shy..
marcyfrances 4
wow!!! be glad there was a gentleman left in this world!!!
allthatremains25 0
congrats you're officially one of the bros now!(:
hannahtaskey 9
Wear more revealing clothes.