Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML
Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
baxeh 29
He shouldve asked before showing you his tiny penis. What a lovely unsatisfying relationship that couldve been
HyperTek 16
Two words. Second, date.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
alexandrix 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
run. run away from him, and his millimetre Peter
Goblin182 27
I gave this a thumbs up just for the expression millimeter peter. Made me laugh.
kutkutkut 8
That's offensive for all the peters who got a few meters
Superplayer421 7
You're clearly forever alone.
manuwish 9
if you love him it shouldn't matter..but I guess you can't decide that after the second date..
Mynxie 26
Most people don't fall in love on the second date.
Catdragon 40
I wouldn't love anyone who whipped out his willy on the second date. Friends first, then possibly romance.
baxeh 29
He shouldve asked before showing you his tiny penis. What a lovely unsatisfying relationship that couldve been
mfmylifesrsly 30
it's good he didn't ask before (if OP said yes) because then she would later find out her bf has a micro..better she found out before
HylianBadger 21
I think he was following Louis CK's advice. "I think a man's penis is the first thing a woman needs to see on a date. That way, she won't be disappointed when it comes to that time later on in the relationship." ^^^^ Can't remember exactly what he said, but it was something along those lines.
olleekenberg 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well if you love him it shouldnt be a problem.
HyperTek 16
Two words. Second, date.
MetalxSoldier 26
Two words. Micro, penis.
Goblin182 27
So the old saying. "its not the size that matters, its how you use it" is a lie? :(
bandaidstations 28
I'm surprised he had the balls to show it to her on the second date if it's really that small. That being said, I've been with big guys who thought just cause they have the size it makes the sex good (spoiler-its not because they think they don't have to try) and I've been with smaller guys who, in my experience, are more concerned with pleasing and do a MUCH better job
Dale_shackleford 13
When it comes to micropenises, it's likely that he couldn't actually use it. If you're brave, google image it. They're like the size of a pinky toe.
GabiDobby98 3
If you have ever seen a baby's penis, a micro penis is like that but with balls and it's on a grown man
socksxox 19
this happened to me, except I had already said yes to being his girlfriend.. didn't want to be a prick so went along with it and then guilt kept me in the relationship for much longer than nessacary. (he was a manipulative twat , not just about his sick size) but now I haven't been with him in so long it still makes me chuckle knowing that he will be going through that same awkward 'oh, okay then..' moment forever.
MrEpicSqueaky101 18
I gues the rest of his inches were in his personality. xD
4everBroken 13
Interesting time to ask you to be his girlfriend LOL I wonder if that works for him.
Bearsmomma 30
I doubt it. Seems like not in this case especially.
Death69 24
His size aside...You NEVER pull out your wank on a 2nd date. I will give him this though, at least he didn't bother lying about the size of his Johnson. He just decided to share it with you. ?
Zebediabolical 45
I'm pretty sure that's dependant on the people involved and the vibe that's going on. There are no hard and fast rules.
Elban 20
Nah he's right right. You should let the other person pull it out if it's only the 2nd date! Sharing sounds bad tho due to portion size
9a_z1 11
Ew I'm sorry he flashed you his penis. Obviously there are plenty of ways of pleasing a woman that don't rely on penis size, but his behaviour suggests he's not one of the guys who knows about them.
Rty 12
What is considered a micropenis?
TheNoNameGuy 20
Google it
brownapple 22
#11, don't.
Lalala579121 28
Look it up on urbandictionary. Always look up unfamiliar words on there first before you try googling them.
petunia723 12
Smaller than 2 3/4 when fully erect.
scyth3s 13
That's sad. I can't imagine being handed that shitty card my whole adult life. No wonder he's awkward as **** about it (pulls down pants and asks her to be his girlfriend).
SauceySarah 30
That's when you fake being ill, book it home, block his number, and pretend this never happened.