Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on what I thought was my fifth date with a guy. We finally got intimate and it was amazing. As soon as it was over, he said : "Sorry babe, I should get going. I have a date tomorrow and I'd hate to be tired for it." FML
Today, my boyfriend of five days proposed to me at the mall. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
Today, another man proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying, "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years proposed to me and I said yes. A few hours later, I found out he's been talking to multiple other girls for about three months. FML
Today, after five years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed to me. The words "just think of the tax breaks" were uttered. FML
Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML
Today, the guy I've been seeing for a little over a week proposed to me. FML
Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML
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Top comments
OhDearBetrayal 25
Make sure you read the fine print.
ApologyKick 25
That's kinda cute don't you think? Hopefully he wasn't being serdead serious though.
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Comments (231)
OhDearBetrayal 25
Make sure you read the fine print.
AlexBblah 10
Always hidden stuff in there i agree
jerryk 2
I only know this because of my sister but maybe he's trying to mimic fifty shades of gray?
alshygirl 14
It's like 50 shades of grey!
Akumie 6
Run away!!
Drigr 9
Next thing you know, he will be asking to see the lease for your ******.
AnagenisisZagus 13
1- Damn it all! You beat me to the fine print comment....by an hour or so. I need a hug. :( 31- Yeah suuuuure. Your sister. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Incogneterpeter 1
^shut up....
theannak 7
^you shut up. She made me laugh.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Section 5 of the fine print: "If I bring home another female, you are obligated to offer a threesome."
heythere131630 9
Well this just got awkward.
Feklfekl2222 32
Are you dating Sheldon cooper?
Needafarm 22
I don't understand why this was voted down. You all know you were thinking this. Anyone who's seen a movie from the 80's, 90's and early 2000 knows that anytime someone says that it was their friend, sister or some other person other than them, it was them. Now, let the negative votes start rolling in!! WOOOO!!!!
outoftown 27
Trouble! Check to see it this guy is a registered sex offender, first. Then check for rumors of such. Sounds like he has a history and wants to legal up.
Feklfekl2222 32
157- autocorrect strikes again :(
evilamoebaattack 20
such a huge The Big Bang Theory reference!
davexs 10
Was his name Sheldon?
ApologyKick 25
That's kinda cute don't you think? Hopefully he wasn't being serdead serious though.
IAmJad 18
I don't know how that's cute. I guess it all depends on what he wrote in the contract.
Mr_Krabs 5
45 - I _____ am aware that by signing this contract, I agree to give _____ a ******* every third Thursday and will swallow.
nabee26 15
3- Kinda cute? What planet are you from? Geez
stinewd 9
It shows he has some kind of nerdy humor, which I find very cute. Unless, as mentioned, he was very serious about this contract, then I wouldn't sign it.
ygdrassil 17
"After said *******, I agree to make one sandwich, to be defined as ingredients chosen by the Grantor of this Contract held between two sliced portions of bread, at the request of the Grantor."
ArielTheMermaid 17
OP are you dating Sheldon Cooper? :)
ThatOneCanadian 0
hopefully he's in law school or she is, and its a funny joke
22cute 17
Nothing like a contract for directness and honesty. Could be a good start! :D
AphyTheBronette 15
# 77 they obviously came from the planet Uranus! Get it? Get it? Meh never mind.
gypsymoon 6
Is he a lawyer?
bargarlm 2
how punctual..
Popcornography 10
Don't you mean formal?
gypsymoon 6
Is he a lawyer?
gypsymoon 6
Is he a lawyer?
Pelvispresley 8
4 times was a bit too much...
Pelvispresley 8
Nvm the others got deleted
Pelvispresley 8
On a side note- whatever happened to noor?
Hidur 10
Bears.
mduffy08 8
I ate her.
gypsymoon 6
Is he a lawyer?
omgitsshorti 5
That's a bit creepy. I hope u didn't sign op...
leadawg75 12
He wants to make sure you Can't break up with him...to me he sounds a little obsessed. Read it first, don't sign. Who knows what you agree too with your signature...
onlychildFTW 34
It sounds like this guy is like Sheldon!
leadawg75 12
Ikr! I love Sheldon!