Today, I went shopping with my sister’s husband to help him choose a birthday gift for her. My sister’s insane friend saw us, followed us, and caused a huge screaming scene in the middle of the mall accusing us of having an affair. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML
Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML
Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her out to her favorite restaurant to celebrate. The waitress serving us looked oddly familiar but I didn’t think anything of it until she said when we collected the check, “Aren’t you my sister’s husband?” I forgot she had a younger sister who worked here. FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
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Top comments
manb91uk 22
You could have been all “What the **** are you on about? This is MY husband” just to **** her head up even more? Opportunity wasted....
RichardPencil 32
You had the perfect cover story to conceal your affair, but your sister’s friend is crazy ... like a fox. Busted!
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Comments (18)
manb91uk 22
You could have been all “What the **** are you on about? This is MY husband” just to **** her head up even more? Opportunity wasted....
RichardPencil 32
You had the perfect cover story to conceal your affair, but your sister’s friend is crazy ... like a fox. Busted!
garfunkulusmaximus 4
DickPencil hehehehe
RichardPencil 32
Half credit for getting close.
InkyShadows 4
I'm looking for a pencil.... Richard Pencil? Pencil Richard? Pencil Dick?
Jester epic_151 11
Did she escape from an asylum?
Lobby_Bee 18
It really is an affair and you wrote this FML to cover up the truth. We all know.
5th_point_of_contact 8
I have to agree with the other post. I would have totally turned the tables on her and humiliated her in public claiming y’all were married. Then again things are always easier in hindsight. I spend a lot sleepless nights thinking about how I could have reacted vs how I did or didn’t. You know the truth. That’s all that matters.
acmariner99 25
Plot twist!
dwight7476 11
Very dumb friend your sister have she should have asked questions instead of assuming now she made an ass out of her self
Rabite 28
Were you picking out lingerie or a ring as a gift for your sister? :D
Chazzster 32
A lot of trouble could have been saved if husband had simply gone shopping for his wife by himself. Here are a few hints about buying a gift for your wife: Do not buy clothes - Size can be a huge issue and women’s clothing is a matter of personal taste. Do not buy lingerie - We all know sexy lingerie is really a present for yourself and it’s not usually appreciated. Do not buy household appliances like a vacuum or mixer - Those are usually not appreciated, it’s not the 1950’s. Buy jewelry - Earrings, bracelets, necklaces, charms, sliders for a necklace she already has. Always appreciated. Buy gift certificates - But make sure it’s for places she shops. Get a nice card and have the present professionally wrapped.
Platinum1Vortex 4
Just just just wow omg I can't