Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
horne2 9
Well, that's awkward.
J_Kertz 14
"Mom! Dad! Guess What!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (122)
HemoValencia 5
Lonely Island - I just had sex lyrics much?
katties 27
He cried all the time during sex means you didn't stop him. That you "can tell" it was his first time sounds like you didn't bother asking what was actually wrong imo. For how long did you know your boyfriend before this? He didn't seem ready - if you "knew" it was his first time and his reaction was like this, you should've stopped him and asked if he actually want to do this. Too much weird stuff going on here... must mean YDI at least partly.
BootheGhost 6
That must be a real tear jerker...
skour1030 7
If he wanted I just get laid and then bounce he is officially the master of doing so
davidpropert 32
This paralles the lonely island song so well
JMichael 26
What a man he is.
tishtashbat 16
There's nothing 'unmanly' about showing your emotions.
howdoilogin 9
Wow, that's just plain pathetic.
SunTzu2 9
Mom, Dad.... You've gotta come!!! And pick me up
kitkatkarley 7
You should've stopped if he was crying. Ydi
pitchwhiterap 3
isn't that a song?