Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
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Top comments
horne2 9
Well, that's awkward.
J_Kertz 14
"Mom! Dad! Guess What!"
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Comments (122)
Cadet_Owens 8
First thing I thought of was the lyrics to I Just Had Sex
TheCrispyCat 20
Anybody else think of the Lonely Island?
secret23k 3
Haha like the song...
tenderteddy82 4
So... you didn't know it was his first time before you had sex?
swimmingcharky 4
sounds like the lyrics from "I Just Had Sex" lol
Nish007 15
well, that escalated quickly 0.o
Mirakledba 10
Reminds of the song" I just had sex and it felt so good" by lonely island and then after that he calls his mom...
crimson626 8
Well, there's a song about that happening... I just had sex my Lonely Island
18wheels 2
Don't complain its almost sweet.... But you don't want a dads boy or a mommas boy unless you have crappy parents then tell him you were envoys that he had someone special to call and you didn't. Then you could have one if his parents too. They will be all up I'm your relationship anyways so embarrass the breast.
MzZombicidal 36
I read this twice and I'm still having a hard time translating.
jewelia13 12
I think it's "Don't complain, it's almost sweet.... But you don't want a dad's boy or a momma's boy unless you have crappy parents - then tell him you were envious that he had someone special to call and you didn't. Then you could have one of his parents too! They will be all up in your relationship anyways, so embrace it."
worldclassrager 41
Well hopefully next time will be better...