Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
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Top comments
horne2 9
Well, that's awkward.
J_Kertz 14
"Mom! Dad! Guess What!"
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Comments (122)
Marie314 17
Why didn't you stop?
Sizeof 3
Hi everybody! :)
asylumlane 23
I'm guessing you guys never talked about sex before performing the act? Sounds like you didn't know he was a virgin before.
rmccorm 7
This sounds suspiciously like the Lonely Island song (I Just Had Sex featuring Akon). I'm just saying. If it's not, then he probably wasn't ready.
plokiploki 5
Sounds like the song "I Just Had Sex" by The Lonely Island...action by action.
rawr_monster_ 15
Oh.....awkward
mosquito19 14
did he cried while having sex with you? how does that work? i though you can only do one or the other. I am very confused.
rockfreak333 7
Lucky duck
FrankHotpants 31
He didn't have to do it so I'm confused as to why a guy would react in such a way. I'm sorry you had the one guy who just can't enjoy and be happy with getting laid.
stasia99 5
That sucks