Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML
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Top comments
horne2 9
Well, that's awkward.
J_Kertz 14
"Mom! Dad! Guess What!"
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Comments (122)
lightanddark 17
Did anyone else instantly think of the Lonely Island song, "I just had sex"? "When I had the sex, man, my penis felt great. And I called my parents right after I was done."
Tomgreenia 1
His last name wouldnt happen to be Melton, would it? Lmao...similar story with a couple of my friends...
katties 27
I think you just raped a guy... for whatever reason, it didn't seem like he was into it...
pnutbutternjelly 15
He cried all the way through and you didn't stop?
arodven 18
Maybe it was confirmation to him that he is homosexual.
tazmanmike2013 17
I don't get this guys crying stuff. What the hell, grow a pair. Maybe I'm showing some age here but I'm only 40, when I was younger a dude didn't cry, if he did it had to be something serious like a death or something, otherwise he'd get his ass whopped it at least made fun of. Crying about sex, hell no, he'd be high fiving himself. I know I'll get a lot if "thumbs down" and people saying I'm insensitive but it is what it is. Dudes quit F***ing crying.
J_babyxoxo 8
Hmm, this sounds coincidentally like Akon and Lonely Island's "I just had sex" music video. Well.. doesn't matter, had sex.. right?
Bec Lovell 3
Instantly thinking of "I just had sex" and now singing it ^-^
InsanityShard 23
If he's crying stop. Why would you keep going?
thisisbutaname 38
Then stop having sex with 8-year-olds