Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML
Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
Today, I had to fake enthusiasm when my girlfriend told me she's pregnant. She has a nasty streak and I was planning to break up with her, but if I left her now everyone would think I’m the bad guy. I actually think she’s capable of killing me if she gets angry enough. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, I'm considering faking my death in order to get out of my relationship. My girlfriend got in a car accident that left her disfigured, and I no longer find her attractive. I met someone at work who's a better fit for me. I know I'm probably an asswipe, but is it wrong to want a partner whom I'm attracted to? FML
Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML
Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML
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Top comments
CarbonCoach 11
Tell her how you feel maybe?
Kyuzomi 12
How insane could a family be to make you think of faking a death? Sounds like hell.
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Comments (108)
CarbonCoach 11
Tell her how you feel maybe?
HKCgrimmjow 15
Don't feel too bad OP. We've all been there.
CarbonCoach 11
Not to the point of trying to fake our death. Unless her father gave him a talking of what would happen if he broke her heart.
Sports_guy3 28
It's the DirectTV commercial! Make sure you attend the funeral.
Ananym 7
11, What type of people are you dating?
Zimmington 21
Obviously the way OP has to get out of this relationship is to become a world famous rapper, start a West coast vs. East coast feud, make political ties, get "killed" after escalating music biz violence, & quietly move to Cuba. Problem solved.
JMichael 26
What century do you live in #1? We live in one where no one explains their feelings anymore. They just do stupid shit to get out of relationships. And if you really don't like being around her OP then DUMP her. Don't be a dumbass and fake your own death.
little_one1 14
Can't you get in serious trouble for faking your own death if you get caught?
evilplatypus 39
67 ~No, I'm sure the cops that investigate his death, the IRS, and OP's insurance company would all think it's hilarious!~
incoherentrmblr 22
#21: When you pay too much for cable, you feel dejected. When you feel dejected, you need some comfort. When you need some comfort, you start a relationship. When you start a relationship, you spend time together over her family's house. When you spend holidays over her family's house, you feel overwhelmed by her overbearing parents. When you feel overwhelmed by her overbearing parents, you think about faking your own death. When you fake your own death, you attend your own funeral. Attend your own funeral...
ZY1431 24
well that's one way of getting away.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Unless she turns up at the funeral!
pwnman 33
Are you part of OP's family, #49?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Yes, I'm Grandpa.
Kyuzomi 12
How insane could a family be to make you think of faking a death? Sounds like hell.
Kyuzomi 12
Sounds like an intense slaughter house with graphic scenes but with loud annoying adults gathered around a table instead. Ran out of time to edit comment even though I had 40 seconds left. Nice.
peachesncreem 21
My friends ex faked her own death. She moved interstate back to her parents and got them in on it. My friend was devastated when they told him she died and the family didn't want him at her funeral. I don't know how he found out that she wasn't really dead, but it sent him into depression for a while. He's better now, but there are seriously insane assholes out there.
Kyuzomi 12
That kind is situation sounds like it would've hit your friend a lot harder, I'm glad your friend's okay! :D
1jordan1 11
Sometimes when I'm about to do something I don't want to do I get stressed and can't breathe and consider exaggerating it and pretending to have a panic attack so I can get out of it.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
and people like you are the reason those of us with actual panic disorder are told we have panic attacks to get out of our responsibilities, that we are attention seekers and our illness isn't real.
iknowiwantyou 13
panic attacks? meh who has time for those
1jordan1 11
People likes me aren't why you're attention seekers, attention seekers aren't why you're attention seekers. I've never actually done it, moron, so that response doesn't even make any sense.
hunts19ketchup 23
I would re-read your own post before accusing someone else of not making sense.
1jordan1 11
If you'd use some context clues and reasoning, it's pretty easy to figure out the obviously clear message I was trying to convey. I don't know why you need to be an ass for no reason. I don't understand people like you.
TheAbstract 15
73, I tried several times to convey some sort of clear, obvious message out of that clusterfuck of nonsense that you typed but I, in all honesty, cannot even manage to do so.
1jordan1 11
That's really sad. I'm not going to fight with someone over the Internet. I find that really pathetic. Anyway, I'm sorry that you find it so difficult to understand basic English with one minor error, but I wish you the best of luck in your life. Thanks.
steffidallasbfl 16
Tell her how you feel
Brightbulb 40
If you've tried talking to her like an adult, then walk away. They pursue you, or harass you get a restraining order. Then they can deal with the insane, overbearing cops.
ballplaya52 10
Maybe you should change your name and move to another country?
Rainhawk94 27
Go to Mexico and have ranch of chupacabras
desidog 12
Family around holidays. I can relate.
foxy_grampa 19
Or, ya know, you could break up with her or maybe even talk to her about her family if you want to be with her. That might be a tad but easier to explain in the long run than saying you experienced a miracle and came back to life
Bricktothehead 21
If I was in your shoes I would try the Peace Corps instead of death. 2 years away from them all would give you some perspective at least.