Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
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Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
*Looks at location* Yup.
EnderNutt 16
Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?
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Comments (94)
MikeyScene420 17
Location checks out
IIVIMMXV 9
Buy a gun and wait for him with nö clothes on playing around with the gun. That should help
DexBanWhore 6
Don't take it to seriously, guns are very sexy. try new things in bed also.
Goblin182 27
Instead of perfume, rub a little gun powder behind your ears.
ericanicole1 12
Cuz texas
clawstrophobic 15
Does also identify as an ammo round? If so, I think your boyfriend is "ammosexual"
Lepidop 18
It might make him interested in sex if you dress up as a cop with a fake (but real-lookong) gun and ask him to put his arms in the air etc... ;)
BabeSlave97 12
Speak your mind, but please try and be respectful.
akaYodaddy 3
u know your in America when
waleedma 18
Tattoo a gun on your body!!!!!!!!!