Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
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Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
*Looks at location* Yup.
EnderNutt 16
Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?
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Comments (94)
connorhperkins 9
Freeeedoommm
graphicstyle7 17
Here's a question. If you were getting it on as much as you'd like, would you be posting about this, or just find it amusing? Seriously, talk to him. Let him know you'd like more intimacy. If you can't talk to him about this, again, seriously, speaking as someone who has WASTED her time on no-go relationships, DUMP HIM. There are many fish in the sea. When I got older and realized I didn't need to cling on to a crappy relationship and started dating again (above age 40!) I was MUCH more happy than I'd been when I tried to be "patient" and "understanding" of a problem the other person was not interested in solving.
DrowningLessons 19
Of course from Texas! :PPPPP
SpectralTrix 7
The comment sections on these make me laugh so hard.
willsnow18 11
my last name is snow
ohSNAPyall 27
OK
KingAdrock 16
Sorry to hear about your crappy sex life. But to be fair, when guys say something cool "gives [them] a boner" that's meant figuratively, not literally. Boners can be a response to sexual stimuli, or they just happen for no reason. You don't actually get them just because you're (non-sexually) enjoying yourself.
anthony99 14
He must be a Republican
gonnahurt 3
Seriously... Run
michaelantonio 2
Start strapping yourself with guns & ammo !!! That'll spice up your love life!
peroxidemocha 3
******* Texans.