Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early from work and caught my boyfriend jerking off. When I tried to flirt and say I could help him, he said he wasn't in the mood anymore. He hasn't touched me in months. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend masturbating, again. Meanwhile we haven’t had sex in weeks. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
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Top comments
TheGolfGTI 24
*Looks at location* Yup.
EnderNutt 16
Have you tried polishing his pistol once in a while?
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Comments (94)
TheEASON 3
Wouldn't be American if he didn't!
FastTurtle9 14
Dump him before he cheats on you with his sister.
LoZelda123 20
that's pretty serious...you better talk with him and see what's up.
sturschaedel 27
Run! He was probably contemplating where to bury you...
FMLintheanus 12
looking at the location, it's probably because you aren't his 2nd cousin...
Glamisbound 14
Freedom Boner
JustASpectator 8
Just America things, everyday problems...
Catdragon 40
this is when you bring a gun into the bedroom or dress up as a sexy rifle
Lolipop2241030 14
I Gotta Girl you wanna meet her Her name is Nine Milimeter I gotta milimeter ready to go off any minute so you feel it ;)
samwilliams800 28
Only in Texas.