Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
kmccain 27
May the odds be ever in your favor
paulkeppel 0
gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!
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Comments (163)
naztyskidded 0
Gas mask on!!!
iseyixes 18
What a strange family game night.
iloveweed69 7
Get some febreze :o
KiddNYC1O 22
Invest in a respirator.
flockz 20
kill the weak ones first, like grandma. she farts dust so your only risk is sneezing. easy target.
UnleashedKilla1 4
2 things: 1: very true 2: your profile picture is ******* awesome.
kelissa_fml 16
Not my grandma. She has the stinkiest farts.
BostonBruinsFan 8
My Brother can start a "Gas War" and end it with one "Silent But Very Deadly", taking out every1 on Earth
MonsterCommenter 4
Your family seems....errr, unique
cheeselover123 6
Haha 69...
MonsterCommenter 4
Unless you're referring to the sex position, that made no sense. And even if you were referring to the sex position, that still made no sense.
thatnucca 36
Eat lots of peas and eggs, and drink lots of milk... That would show em not to mess with you!
blegehlehgleh 0
Did you know that if you fart on a lighter or match, the flame actually travels up your butt and combusts your colon? I learned the hard way. :truestory:
indielove 13
Nobody cares. True story.
ItzWoopiez 1
Thts upsetting hope u made tht an fml
Rxoxdx 0
Damn that sounds painful
mariebiscut1242 11
Must have been an entertaining for the doctor to hear how THAT happened.
l0v3p4in 7
Remove all flatulent producing food from the house. Sprinkle some beano over their food when they aren't looking and there will bea-no more ammo. War won. Victor: you.