Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kmccain 27
May the odds be ever in your favor
paulkeppel 0
gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
dessaye 19
Get some primrose scented air freshener then.
Rxoxdx 0
I'm not female or gay but I love ur picture
Melania890 9
Or buttercup-scented, if they even make that. :p
TheDrudgeChild 4
Maybe some CINNAmon scented would help too ;)
tanay97 8
having a good time eh?
cheesechick 0
Lol
superpoptart 24
You want advice? Stay alive.
pslcdsl 9
Go Haymitch and his advice :)
deadlyriot101 7
Get some throwing knives, and tell them to stop or you'll stop it for them :)
alexbeers 0
HAHAHAHAHAH
awesomeboii 0
May the odds be ever in your favor. And I wish I had your family
IowAuburn_fan77 4
Best family ever. Honestly I'm jelly
IowAuburn_fan77 4
Make sure to stock up in food and find a water source. Make an alliance. Wait it out. Then you can make your move.
kissmax 2
32=== ww w.gobuyfashion.c om === moncler cl0thing $110 cheapest (TOP) N1ke A1r Max, Jordan (1-24) shoes $ 31 all style of UG~G $ 50 Nike sh0x (R4, NZ, OZ, TL1, TL2, TL3) $ 31 T-shirts (Polo, Ed Hardy, Lacoste) $ 22 $ 15Wig Handbag (LV, Chanel, Coach, DG, ED Hardy.etc.) $ 30 Jean~s (True Religion, Ed Hardy, coogi) $ 30 Sunglasses (Di0r, Oakey, Coach, Gucci, Armaini) $ 16 hooded jersey $ 29 $ 16 A new era of belt (ED Hardy / BT) $ 15 Watch (Rolex) Scarf $ 80 $ 21 Bikini (Ed Hardy, Polo, Gucci, LV, Christian Audigier, Affliction) $ 15 monster head earphones Accept international bank transfer, credit card,Western Union. sale all kinds of world brand shoes, jean~s, t-shirts, bikini, beach pants, handbags, wallets, sunglasses, belts, hats, watches etc. === ww w.gobuyfashion.c om === _________________________$$$$$$$__________ ________________________$$$$$$$$$$________ ________________________$$$$$$$$$$$_______ _________________________$$$$$$$$$$$______ __________________________$$$$$$$$$$$_____ _____________________________$$$$$$$$$____ ___________________________$$$$$$$$$$_____ _____ww w.gobuyfashion.c om_$$$$$$$$$$$$$____ ________________$$$______$$$$$$$$$$$$$$___ ______________$$$$$$$$_____$$$$$$__$$$$$__ _____________$$$$$$$$$$_____$$$$____$$$$$_ ___________$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$__$$$$______$$$$ __________$$$$$_____$$$$$$$$_$$$$_______$$$ ___ _____$$$$$_________$$$$$$$$$$$$_______$$$ _______ $$$_____________$$$$$$$$$$$________$$$ _____$$$__ ______________$$$$$$$$$$________$$$$$$