Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML
Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
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Top comments
kmccain 27
May the odds be ever in your favor
paulkeppel 0
gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!
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Comments (163)
alival 12
Ok find someone there to be your peeta so u can get sponsors!
TheTerenity 9
Get some bee protection (i.e. Mask, Gloves, Suit) Grab a nest, run in the room with all, or most, family in it, yell "TrackerJacker!" and throw it in there.
trueblue170 13
A bit extreme there, my friend...
iLoveFamilyGuy 7
i should REALLY stop reading these while eating :P
Mossadchick 5
This is the best most creative thing I have heard all week. Hahaha I wish my family did stuff like this. Haha.
fmlfanboy 5
Stock up on beans& brocali
SexcyyyLexiii 0
I WOULD LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!! Lmao
ChoolyBooly 32
Watch out for pink eye!
HiThereIFailed 15
Haha good luck in surviving!
missmolliss 18
This is the opposite of a problem.
omzz15 23
Can wait for you all to get pink eye