Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, whilst having sex, my husband screamed out a man's name. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thatonetree 9
That is a pretty impressive skill. You gotta give it to him
ABillOnFire 15
it's reasons like this we were placed on this planet
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (146)
Smo0chin 14
champion effort!
Euphrates 10
That's amazing u r a lucky woman
daboar 5
That sound impressive
skyeyez9 25
Did he put it in the peehole to keep it from falling over before he spun it?
MythBusters 9
Babe,babe, cum quick!!!
Parkour_rocks 20
I just don't get how this would be possible. Really impressive though. I voted FML and YDI because it seems like OP was mad at him for being excited, but he was yelling so OP did have some reason to be worried.
XmisspenguinX 6
Funny lol
Incitus 9
Well at least your baby is in *puts on sunglasses* Tip-Top shape.
ArielTheMermaid 17
He sounds awesome
Weiss729 6
And the next contestant on America's Got Talent is......