Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, my husband decided it's completely fine to walk around the house with his penis out in front of his mom. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
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Top comments
anniemeece 23
Hey, it could be worse. He could have done that hoping your mother was inside!
DocBastard 40
Did she have a stroke? Or did she refuse to touch it?
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Comments (134)
dca101 23
well damn
lnsc10 8
Well damn? That's the best you've got? What a waste of a first comment.
gAt_d 26
The same could be said for your comment.
Noelletakumi 36
That must have been awkward as hell afterwards.
RedPillSucks 33
"The same could be said for your comment"? I've never heard that one before!
StompinOnCrayons 15
Why is there no full stop ? I need closure !
anniemeece 23
Hey, it could be worse. He could have done that hoping your mother was inside!
Kamon97 23
Sooo why is she married to this goofball in the first place? Kinda a YDI if you ask me
raeepressley 12
Hey now. Don't judge. My boyfriend is a bit of a man child sometimes too. Doesn't mean she can't love him! I bet OP has a lot of fun with her husband!
MzZombicidal 36
#36, so married people have to be serious all of the time? What crap. If you're with someone who's comfortable enough to do something so goofy with you, you should be happy, not regretting it.
amypr 20
Nothing wrong with goofiness in a marriage - my husband and I get a huge kick out of suprising each other with strangely-timed nudity!
Kamon97 23
Ya but who is dumb enough to pull out their knob when they have company -.- there is a fine line between immature and a flat out perv.
SweetasCandy0609 28
#36 I don't know how much you actually know about marriage since you look young in your picture, but just because you get married doesn't mean you stop having fun. My husband and I have been married for almost 7 years and we still have fun all the time that's how you keep things alive.
Vladash 14
Maybe he did want her mom to be in there ;)
Kamon97 23
Ya but you need to pick your moments wisely too and I find this funny how you are all defending the husband but if he were the one writing the FML you guys would be all over him with YDI's and idiot comments :p just throwing that out there
unkhammun 5
Because they're not defending him from doing that, but defending him from your comment. He's a moron for having pulled that one, but i'm sure this is not a reason why she shouldn't have married him... Come to think about it, i'd probably had done the same thing.
MortenM 17
#74. No man ever forgets it when his mum in law is visiting. Never... Ever...
FMLkoala 28
Did he know your mum was visiting?!
perdix 31
and your mom did the "Black Hawk Down." ;)
RedPillSucks 33
Her husband is black?
perdix 31
#71, well, I was thinking of the fiasco in Somalia, but why not?
nightfire2258 24
"We got a black hawk down, we got a black hawk down." "Super 61 is down. We got a bird down in the city. Super 61 is on the deck now."
MzZombicidal 36
What happened next??? :P
vencku 13
At least you weren't there so you missed the awkward moment. Better to hear about it afterwards than to actually have it happen to you.
KasiaLilith 13
It seems equally bad to me to know it had happened
DocBastard 40
Did she have a stroke? Or did she refuse to touch it?
ShyAnn29 15
Why on earth would she touch it!? That's a sick thought!!
perdix 31
#17, CTFD, it's the punchline to an old joke about three nuns and a flasher.
FurryRocks 10
#17 What do you expect from Doc.
ShyAnn29 15
I guess I should have excepted that from Doc, but geez, I didn't think that so many people would dislike my comment.
sarahbevan20 11
I'm an internet tough gal. I need a life, but picking fights online is so much more fun, lol durpz. :F :F
ViRepz 28
Or it could have backfired... The plot thickens...
Ecudaniel 16
Talk about awkward family conversations for thanks giving...
DrippingSarcasm 20
I have to ask. Why didn't he knock or something? If he knows she's in the house...
jgriff79 23
He did knock!
Horsempeg 25
He knocked with his penis, really her mom should have answered!
DrippingSarcasm 20
Oops. True, but let's hope he learned his lesson.