Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML
Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, I was at the office making copies for a project. As I left the copy room my dress pants caught a sharp something on the door frame and ripped open my pants. All my co-workers saw my pink boxer briefs. Now I'm called "Pinky" by everyone. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML
Today, it was my first day of work, and I was wondering why everyone was staring and laughing at me. I looked down and I realized that the fly on my jeans was open. FML
Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
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Top comments
iamwilson12 4
You didn't feel a breeze? lol
smallsmerry123 5
I remember you!
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Comments (142)
SkoomaKi 28
Bad puppy!
RyNo24 4
Good puppy! ;)
TunechiXXL 0
Your pants were off @ the time, riiiight?
NoobyNed 4
It could be a good thing if pretty girls were staring and smiling.. Who wouldn't want that?
xSonic 9
*sigh* Sooo many horny little bastards on FML
nava1210 12
16 - too bad OP is a girl, the only reason she would like girls staring at her crotch is if she was a lesbian, just saying.
HetaliaFreak 10
This happened to me once in 7th grade, except it was the entire crotch and most of the butt. I have NO idea how I didn't notice it, but when I went to the office to call home, the woman just said to tie my jacket around my waist, and it just happened to be a day when we were marching in the freezing cold in band.
iluvhobos 5
How did you not notice that when you picked them out and put them on?
Meowingtons500 18
Easy access?
iFizzgig 11
They are learning to chase cats at a young age yes?
kjcookie10 9
He/ she just wanted some puppy chow.
brianfantana32 10
Now when the doctor tells you to pull your pants down, you're set!
Wandering_Ninja 8
24, Not all lesbians are ***** you know... some of them would prefer only their girlfriend saw there.
mfjkr 10
Bit drafty...I say
Jakesterk96 8
Must have been noticeable if it took you that long to realize it was there...
smallsmerry123 5
I remember you!
TheMaster15 10
She shoulda gone to DocBastard... Im sure he wouldnt mind!
AlaskanEskimo34 0
I'm sorry but how do you not realize something is chewing your crotch out...
greg84_fml 21
Maybe because she probably didn't have her pants on at the time of the chewing an didn't notice the hole.
astralvagan 20
Maybe the pants were on the ground or something.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Touché. Valid argument but you have to feel a breeze or something down there
girl112891 7
Not unless it's a warm day. So glad my habits require no pants on the floor! I have a feeling I'd be in this same situation if I had puppies!
iamwilson12 4
You didn't feel a breeze? lol
Stallion91 6
What's that beautiful breeze... Oh
upyourzlolz 11
No one feels breeze. Everyone now wears furry underwear.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Easy access anyone?
Webslinger66 10
No... Good puppy
leprechaun23 15
Maybe it was a wiener dog
trollfaced 2
LOL! But I can image the embarrassment you had to go though, FYL OP
ICATiger 13
Well played puppies, Well Played...
suxs4ulol 22
Can we teach dogs to do that on command?
DocBastard 40
That wasn't the puppies that ate through your pants. You may want to think about washing down there every now and then.
xSonic 9
Ummm Doc.....I read your profile info and umm......Well why is your patient a knife blade? P.S. He (or she) is a little bit bloody
Dracoboxer357 36
Aww, Doc forgot to update his profile. Used to be an x-ray of a guy who forgot to take off his **** ring, or lost it up his ass, one of the two. It was....cute. ;P
The_Weirdo 10
The knife was a knife fight victim who was stabbed in the back, but was miraculously ok. At least, I think, that one was a while ago.
peece 0
Lool XD
peece 0
But woah... Freaky pic.… but cool : )
peece 0
...
DocBastard 40
The profile has been updated. Sorry for the confusion. This is the first knife blade I ever pulled out of someone.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Doc, you should get a Tumblr blog. I would follow you.
Llama_Face89 34
Holy shit it's serrated...ouch...as if being stabbed wasn't bad enough...
suxs4ulol 22
Doc, what about the guy who shoved the bottle up his ass? i thought that was funny.
DocBastard 40
SarcasticUnicorn - I have a blog on blogspot. :) suxs4ulol - I still have that picture (obviously). It'll probably come back out at some point.
DaKillaMafia 2
I read that you usually don't take bullets out of patients...wouldn't the lead be a problem later on? I'm probably wrong about that, you know more than me.
Isoldael 27
Did your sister train it to do that? Better check your other pants o.o
Nekogami 14
>.>. Be afraid...
S0CCERSTAR01 2
Ignorance is bliss
ZTD09 2
Ignorance is strength.
almostalbino 10
So was the breeze.
trollfaced 2
The puppy has good a taste