Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I was laying in bed completely naked, uncovered and waiting for my husband to walk in. He laid down in bed and starting playing with his phone instead of. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
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Top comments
Violet_Illuser 0
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how this is "ew." I'm laughing too damn hard.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hello there, Richard. We hear you're going to go spend the night your girlfriend, miss Pusé. Is that true? Oh, how scandalous~!
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Comments (192)
strawberry1234 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
first
Etoile_fml 0
That's getting really, REALLY old. Anyway, this is kinda amusing. FYL though.
Lolbrittany 0
he sounds like a fun guy B) i dont see why this is an FML
genius_man16 1
Well, it is a HEAD after all...
diet_otaku 0
that's not an FML, that's cute! my boyfriend and i both talk to his penis, your husband just went the extra mile. XD
DameGreyWulf 1
Hello there, Richard. We hear you're going to go spend the night your girlfriend, miss Pusé. Is that true? Oh, how scandalous~!
lexiBRo 0
lmao @ 59
brie3 0
hahahaha! nice
judgeymcjudge 0
*roars with laughter* Best comment ever, DameGreyWulf XD
doubleAbattery 0
Damegreywulf, something tells me that if we lived in the same area, we would be very good friends!! :)
norrinrad 0
I thought the same.
chipmunk95 0
hahhahahhahahahahha
were_giraffe 2
OMG I sooooo needed that laugh =D
FarSide 23
Is this supposed to be weird behavior?
deathmajestic 0
ima get YOUR NAME tattooed on the side of my dick then ima walk up to some ******* hot girl n say,"i bet you i have your name tattooed on my dick. and if i do you have to suck it."
XDNurse 0
#59 is hilarious... rofl
sammehsaurus 0
59 just made my day. seriously lmao:)
granthm 0
hahaha
Afxman 0
noob -.-
badboy850 0
how old are you? 12? you need to hit puberty before you pull shit like that kid, or you'll just embarrass yourself
kman666 0
awesome comment #59
fatman217 0
#59 ima name my penis after you. look now you have a twin
justcallmeWiLLiA 0
genius. ahaha:)
Brandonisamazing 5
59= win lol
skullet 0
LMAO whata fail
SarahStarzz 0
this is sooooo funny! ur husband is awesome lucky u :D it's not an FML u guys can laugh but it nd u can tease him ;)
f_u_u_f_f 0
haha that's awesome
Hermitcrab 0
EW, fyl!
LeaveItToBeaver 0
your name fits your comment
fatman217 0
yea
xxtgzxx 7
yours two fatman eww, fyl
Violet_Illuser 0
I'm sorry, I'm not seeing how this is "ew." I'm laughing too damn hard.
saailaway 0
wow when u wrote "drawn" i though you ment like he brought a face, as in a girl. but then i got it the second time lol dude he has issues.
alwaysalady 0
Why would you do that?!?!?!? I don't understand men!
dreamchaser 0
pls don't generalize all men based on one retard's actions. though i'm not sure how many guys will try this today. :D
fili450r 0
oh, i am so doing this now! thats why i tell people i got a huge gesture angel tattooed on my back, so i can talk to it...haha....no imma start talking to my wienner.....hopefully i remember not to use a sharpie... =)
EvAnWuzhere 0
Ya well Women r way more frustrating
Than_fml 0
Look, this is what we do when we get bored ok? we play with our selves.......some more than others.
friday13thbaby 0
I'm laughing too much to see how this is an FML. So your boyfriend is weird, whatever.
tinaforthewin 0
its her husband, that makes it a bit worse.
xxviii28 0
#9 is a retard. Man, idk if this an FML, but FYL. Both of you...
plexico 4
So, who was he talking to? Squirtle? Little Baby Carrot? Microsoft? or The Punisher?
Person1233 13
I bet he named it Megan Fox.
plexico 4
Because Megan Fox is hot, or because her thumbs look like little penises? Seriously, have you seen a close-up picture of her thumbs? They look like hammer toes!
amstillives 0
megan fox is hot..
plexico 4
I know she is, but look at her thumbs! Thumbs!!!!
fxdxhk90 0
Dude, what are you talking about? How the hell do you even know what her thumbs look like?
plexico 4
fxdxhk90, Because there has been a lot of reporting about how she has "toe-thumbs." Look it up on this thang called the Internets -- it's a series of tubes. Let me guess, you are an 18- or 19-year-old from Hong Kong who likes calculus (big surprise)? How did I do?
plexico 4
This was supposed to be a response to a post by fxdxhk90 that asked how I knew about Megan Fox's thumbs. That comment seems to have disappeared and sent my response to some random place.
lexiBRo 0
awesome job incorporating previous fmls =)