Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML
Today, I was on a video call with my boss and some clients. Everything was going smoothly until my 3-year-old son walked in wearing my wife’s high heels and started running circles around me, yelling, “Look at me, I’m a queen!” My boss and clients were visibly confused, and all I could do was laugh nervously, and hope it'll never be mentioned again. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
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Top comments
mccuish 25
That’s funny for a 3 year old
shannon2348 14
Oh for gods sake. He's 3. Not a big deal.
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
Since your son is 3 years old, this is funny. If he were 30, it'd be hilarious! (Aren't you glad I didn't mention the B**** F***er?)
Cowgirl1293 26
"belly finger".... there I said it for you. by the way, I have adopted this saying into my life and use it regularly now. it is a fun phrase to use.
RichardPencil 32
You did indeed. That one is on you! Use that phrase at your peril. It tends to trigger some people.
mccuish 25
That’s funny for a 3 year old
ThrottleJockey 36
And a felony for a 30 year old.
mfranks19891989 10
If your boss has kids then she will understand kids at that age are crazy and funny.
jkjorn 18
Brings to mind the tagline from an old anti-smoking PSA: "Like father, like son? Think about it."
shannon2348 14
Oh for gods sake. He's 3. Not a big deal.
hilamonster 14
The innocents of children is precious
Cindell Hanson 7
Sounds like a typical 3 year old. Tell him that’s something one does alone unless there is consent from the other party.