Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML
Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML
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Top comments
ThomasBombadil 31
Yikes! Hope the three year old is okay.
PurpleDrankkx 7
The real question is, why was he holding him while hammered lol
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Comments (56)
ThomasBombadil 31
Yikes! Hope the three year old is okay.
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Why was he holding the baby when he was hammered!?
jazzy_123 20
Holidays wouldn't be as wonderful without family right? lol
Enslaved 38
Or why didn't anyone keep the three year old far away from the hammered dad?! The child doesn't need to be exposed to a sloppy drunk!
killmenow03 21
Is nobody going to comment on the fact that he took 18 freaking shots?
phatdaddy62 23
Number 28, you've obviously never been around hard-core drinkers.
FangirlingAlways 14
Times like this I am glad my dad can hold his beer.
blackman100 20
Then again, #45, eighteen shots of vodka is a bit different than a beer.
Wizardo 34
This is why you should keep strong liquor away from celebrations with young family if not altogether but in other words happy belated birthday Jesus day to everyone.
thief1434 23
Yeah! They really shouldn't let the father over for New Years! XD
jeremy_654321 7
whatever pffft
PurpleDrankkx 7
The real question is, why was he holding him while hammered lol
Carebeareatu 23
I hope your cousin is alright and shame on him for being that irresponsible..
Ukeee_X 19
Shame on the cousin? Grammar please. But yes, I agree.
Carebeareatu 23
Yes, because everyone's first thought will now be that I'm accusing the toddler of being irresponsible. Really?
CestLaVieMonAmi 6
This has been a Christmas to remember.
buckeyed 20
Or to wake up and deny.
Kataclysm97 32
Umm...Maybe New Year's will go better? I hope for you that it does...but keep your dad from drinking too much If you can :s
blcksocks 19
I hope there was at least one pic or a videos to prove what he did...
blcksocks 19
I am gonna down vote myself. I shouldn't be commenting when I am hungover.
thief1434 23
Did the kid enjoy it though?
polishguy05 15
As long as your cousin is okay just be glad that nothing worse happened, alcohol is a start for a lot of problems
sickerthanyou 13
at least he didn't pull out his penis to ensure a proper celebration.