Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
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Top comments
Mattsta123 5
Finally a good use for the bong water
ICastillo 25
Hey, at least he tried to put it out, but your boyfriend sounds like an idiot.
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Comments (90)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
R.Kelly begs to differ.
ZombieXgirlFrend 12
Your hair should really be out of the way when you're getting high or around people who are getting high and dont know how to use lighters otherwise this will happen often. Just a little tip for next time
MissMae93 23
Ponytails are a female stoner's best friend.
reddudeover 2
Females aren't the only ones capable of having long lusterous hair. *Flips bodacious locs from left to right
pagullarka 9
#61 do you have a video where we can see your performance. :)
MissMae93 23
Sorry, 77, how silly of me! :) Yes, and males with long, luscious locks!
pagullarka 9
#61 do you have a video on YouTube or Somewhere, we can see you perform.
stud68Camaro 0
They can leave their hair down but keep the lighter out of the hands or stupid people
xactownife 7
Sounds like you were both smoking marijuana... YDI
f33rfact0r 5
You don't say!?
ILoveMyXbox 0
We've got a world genius here, folks..
NNR 0
Is your boyfriend a juggalo because that's something we would do Whoop Whoop
DocBastard 40
And this is something to be proud of? And something to whoop over? There's a reason that everyone except juggalos thinks that juggalos are morons.
sadistmonkey 19
Pretty sure he was trying to mock juggalos with that comment.
j_cat187 20
Juggalos are people to; mostly made up of rednecks that steal shit, talk shit and are obsessed with ICP. They wish they where as hard as the Arian brotherhood.
gabe_broida 2
That's ******* hilarious a great use for bong water
pagullarka 9
Smoking bong, now we have no more questions :)
debbster7 18
YDI for picking a moron as your boyfriend :P
MyChemicalSmosh 4
I moderated this a few hours ago! I think I pressed no though...
lfrye 6
Drugs are bad mmkay
1crabbygirl 10
Thinking exactly same response.
reddudeover 2
Shampoo your hair, problem solved. It's better than being bald and burned. Accidents happen whether you snake weed or are completely sober why are otherwise rational people so ready to blame weed? Oh yeah propaganda I forgot.