Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML
Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML
Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, and I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" and that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML
Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML
Today, my father lectured me on the “sanctity of marriage” while his third wife bawled in the corner. I'm just gay, not a raging cunt. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up after three years. I came home and when my dad asked what was wrong, I told him. His first reaction was, "Well damn it. Who'll go fishing with me now?" FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "No that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
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Top comments
moonmonkeyman 6
I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.
LolFMLnot 10
Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.
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Comments (109)
moonmonkeyman 6
I think your dad is trying to tell you something. What that something is I don't know.
airforce987 20
You don't say? :nicolascage:
brt3420 13
I think we got the father of the year right here!
LolFMLnot 10
Thats every gay guy's dream dad right there.
TheBonzaiGirl 0
If he thinks the world is overpopulated, then why the hell did he have kids?!
JocelynKaulitz 28
Don't hate, **********! :D
HopeLoveMusic 0
Not as bad as it is now probably.
pocoipoco 0
I should probably take some Midol and zip my damn mouth before my pissy attitude goes too far. I really like Dane Cook. Snooki is my idol. Justin Bieber is my one true love. Glee... completes... me.
MidnaLink 35
Asshole
dominic1221 6
With a piss poor attitude like that, I'm not shocked. Take the advice, chika.
Pentium_4 27
troll alert! nice edit
berichsoon 11
U need professional help
THE_A_TEEN 28
Oooh, oooh oooh, Sirin, Sirin! Can I give this guy a lobotomy? Pwease?
Sirin_fml 47
A bit redundant, The_A_Teen.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Fine, then i'll proceed to beat the Dumbass with the detachable Penis I won in a card game.
Glambert_lover 5
Dickface!
KRS_13 0
Am I the only one who doesn't get how 2's comment has anything to with the FML? Did I miss something?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well #86, #2's comment was edited by the FML moderators. Usually it happens when some dumbass post "FIRST" or something ridiculous on the very first comments of the FML. Since #2 got banned and the post-edited comment mentioned her shutting up, along with the 2 first replies indicate that she posted something hurtful or homophobic/bigoted since the FML mentioned homosexuality. There, good enough for you?
SkateboardGirl88 11
GTFO.
RoseSheeran98 3
Your problem is that no one likes you do you take it out on everyone else.
KRS_13 0
87- ohh I see. Well. That made me feel a little stupid xP
SupaHotFire 4
Sounds like a great guy!
hemz_fml 13
Tbh, as bad as advice it was, he's lived his life and if you follow it you're probably going to forget about her anyway because she didn't sound like a great person to begin with.
Monkeyone 0
lololol 'wank it off'
moonmonkeyman 6
Don't u hate it when in the comment they say second but they are really 4th
skitzofunia88 8
He's from the UK man, don't laugh. They can't help it.
tandem123 6
words to live by.
duckmunch 10
o lo
maxamus951852 3
This is exactly why i dont confide with my dad
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Daddy issues?
HeartOfLead 24
I don't see a problem, his advice was valid (I take it that he meant for his daughter not to dwell on her past relationship). And when I first read this FML, I was thinking 'can I get an amen!'.
HeartOfLead 24
I don't see a problem, his advice was valid (I take it that he meant for his daughter not to dwell on her past relationship). And when I first read this FML, I was thinking 'can I get an amen!'.
Talia_91 13
OP is male.
ladyLALAA 29
It would be very awkward for a dad to tell his daughter to "wank it off" haha.
thejargogler 4
There are just as many girls as there are guys in the world. You'll find someone!
aurorakitty 3
umm... don't want to look like a jerk here, but last i checked it was 106:100 boys to girls. He might not find a girl. But then again, he could go have an amazing life without the distraction. ...weird dad though. Kinda awesome but kinda weird.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
26 - That's why he said "just as many..." not the same exact amount.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Word problems weren't your best topic in math class, were they?
Meowingtons500 18
If you want to please him, find a nice girl who has uterus issues. Get married, adopt a child. :)
emeraldisle 30
Dads always give the best advice.
G0odgrief 0
maybe it was his (misguided) way of making you feel better?
Airman1988 9
What he is trying to tell you is that Kleenex needs your business.
C94_ 0
Lol