Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
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Top comments
Mattsta123 5
Finally a good use for the bong water
ICastillo 25
Hey, at least he tried to put it out, but your boyfriend sounds like an idiot.
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Comments (90)
retroRoxy312 2
Today, I noticed that my boyfriend who made me a mother did not say Happy Mothers Day to me. FML
Soliz27 2
You Guy's know how to party!
groupleader 7
You sound like a cute couple.
rebeccac3 5
Was he trying to hit that bong when he set your hair in fire??
luvscomplic8ed 6
*facepalm*
Coykoi 0
To be fair the bong was the first thing insight. He went to blow out a candle as I bent over to grab a dish. Weed wasn't even involved which just means there is no excus for my stupidity. IDI
THE_A_TEEN 28
Wait? Are you the OP, the boyfriend, an innocent bystander, or just talking in third person? A_TEEN confused..
THE_A_TEEN 28
Wait? Are you the OP, the boyfriend, an innocent bystander, or just talking in third person? A_TEEN confused..
THE_A_TEEN 28
Whoops, I was on the mobile site. I didn't recognized you, OP. Now please kick my Ass.
brianjman14 23
*kicks A's ass* How did that kick feel?
Coykoi 0
Would not to mobile site be to blame?
babyshaft408 8
Haha u smell delicious
Thundercleese 0
Too bad. You're dating a moron. Easily fixable, therefore, your bad.
hereinnc 12
Shampoo will wash out the bong water...I'd rather have to take a shower then know someone just sat there clueless while my hair was on fire.
angelofsaturn 23
At least you're ok OP and that's the important thing.