Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML
Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I turned off my boyfriend's Xbox while he was playing because I wanted to talk to him about getting more serious with our relationship. As I did so, he said, "That's not the only thing you just turned off" and promptly broke up with me. FML
Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mattsta123 5
Finally a good use for the bong water
ICastillo 25
Hey, at least he tried to put it out, but your boyfriend sounds like an idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
nachosbabygurl 9
would you rather have your scalp on fire
JokersHQ 21
Just my opinion but you really shouldn't be smoking from a bong. Not judging or being rude, just saying.
aceslutty 3
That kind of shit doesn't happen to normal people
Pinkraincoat 18
You've got yourself a keeper there.
oops6663 26
If you like your hair, you tie it back while lighting up. Its common knowledge.
ThnkWckd 4
Where there is smoke there is fire, hair tie?
I'madumbass 19
Because of my username (which does ultimately come from my lack of knowledge (I had to look up some interesting things on the Internet....has nothing to do with intellect.)), I can officially say this: "And he Dumbass Award goes to......"
Alex Duca 11
YDI for dating an idiot.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
One question - HOW? How did he manage to set your hair on fire in the first place? And then he used BONG water to try to put it out? Yeah... I think it may be time to kick him to the curb.
L0life29 6
I saw this scene in the movie dead man on campus